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Love Misconceptions and Reality: Kapamilya stars shared their changed beliefs in relationships

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Liezel dela Cruz

As you grow older, you realize that love is misunderstood in a lot of ways. There are things about romance and relationships you used to believe but no longer do today, thanks to greater wisdom refined by experiences and pain. For example, these Kapamilya stars share their beliefs about love that changed over time.<a href="https://ent.abs-cbn.com/pbbs10" target="_blank">PBB Kumunity Season 10</a> celebrity housemate Anji Salvacion used to think love is chivalry, that there’s a guy out there willing to be her savior, “Pero ngayon ang hirap na makahanap ng tao na will wait for you, respect you, and will be like your knight-in-shining armor.” While he may be a rare type of a guy, Anji still believes he will come “at the right time, right moment.”Lou Yanong used to imagine herself being treated like a princess in a fairy tale. While relationships actually require acts of service, it must be practiced by both partners not just by the guys. “Entering a relationship, kailangan sabay kayo nag-go-grow. You can’t have that princess mindset if you’re going to have a relationship,” she said.Most of us had this fantasy that love is all about ‘kilig.’ Kiara Takahashi is a perfect example. However, as witnessed in her friends’ and her own experiences, she realized ‘kilig’ is just a fleeting emotion. “’Yung kilig, mawawala ‘yan, eh. But ‘yung real love, it takes hard work and choosing to be with that person.”Kiara continued, “I think malalaman mo talaga if it’s real love kapag nawala na ‘yung kilig pero tina-try n’yo pa rin to have that excitement for the both of you. Kahit maraming struggles na pinagdadaanan, you choose that person everyday and you choose to be with that person for the rest of your lives.”Same goes for “<a href="https://ent.abs-cbn.com/hesintoher">He’s Into Her</a>” star Vivoree Esclito, whose idea that love is purely kilig changed as years pass. She said, “It’s a lot of things. Relationships are compromising. It should be full of understanding and patience.” Vivoree added that arguments are inevitable yet it can be solved with compromise and being each other’s comfort.We’re also made to believe that love is enough, but that’s far from reality according to Sky Quizon. “Love is not all about love. Respect should be there and the willingness to fight for it because it becomes a choice to be in that relationship. Magpa-plateau talaga, babagsak from kilig, so it’s really choosing that person every day.” He also shared his favorite movie line that talks about the willingness to lose for that special person.Raise your hand if you’ve assumed that first love is forever. Well it is in some cases but not everyone is lucky to marry their first partner. Although she didn’t reveal why, Ashley Del Mundo said she no longer believes that the first person she romantically meets is also the one she’s going to end up with.Or maybe you thought that you should always look beautiful and presentable for your significant other. The truth is, according to Alyssa Valdez, “I-a-accept ka pala niya kahit ano pang itsura mo, just the way you are.”Another big illusion about love is that the greater the pain, the better. Beauty queen-turned-PBB housemate Samantha Bernardo explained, “We thought na ‘pag masakit, kailangan lagi natin pinaglalaban.” She learned that life must be light, fulfilling, and joyful rather than full of sufferings.She thought unrequited love starts to exist where self-love ends. “Sometimes nawawala ‘yung totoong love natin sa sarili natin kaya rin siguro nagiging unrequited love or blinded tayo doon sa mas masakit. Akala natin ‘yun ang totoong love pero hindi pala. Dapat nagsa-start talaga ‘yun sa sarili at overflowing lang yun, and it should be joyous and fearless.”The amount of love you give equals to what you receive, they say. However, “<a href="https://ent.abs-cbn.com/viralscandal" target="_blank">Viral Scandal</a>” star Louise Abuel would disagree, saying the amount you give is no guarantee of what you’d get in return. “Dapat hindi ka talaga nag-eexpect sa partner mo. Maging masaya ka kung ibabalik sa’yo. Pero kung hindi naman, para lang siyang regalo na hindi mo ine-expect.”Jane Oineza used to sacrifice everything in the name of love. Well not anymore as she learned to love herself more and stick to her core beliefs even when she’s in a relationship.<a href="https://ent.abs-cbn.com/pbbs9" target="_blank">PBB Connect</a> ex-housemate Ralph Malibunas used to live by the mantra “Ikaw lang sapat na,” which he said is not accurate “kasi at the end of the day, hindi n’yo pa rin sure ‘yung isa’t isa.”Similarly, Russu Laurente debunked the expression “promise, hanggang dulo,” saying romance has no guarantee. “Hindi mo talaga alam kung siya na talaga hanggang dulo. Siguro nasasabi mo ‘yan kasi siya ‘yung nasa harap mo ngayon at siya ‘yung nakakasama mo.”Not to scare those in a relationship today, but Crismar Menchavez would reiterate the same misconception, saying, “Para sa akin kasi hindi ka pwedeng magbigay ng guarantee about the future kasi ang mabibigay mo lang ay ‘yung present.” Another old belief he no longer holds on to is “love is enough&#x27;&#x27; because relationships require so much more than love, including hard work, patience, and commitmentBrent Manalo mentioned that you’re not supposed to do everything together, contrary to his past belief. Empress Schuck used to think relationships require constant updating with calls and text messages but it doesn’t have to be that way.Sue Ramirez admitted that she thought “relationships are full of butterflies, flowers, and chocolates.” As she matures, she learns it’s not about embracing just the good parts and throwing out the bad. The truth is love means embracing the other person’s negative sides while helping him/her improve.One classic relationship belief is that communication solves everything, although some like Francine Diaz would disagree, “Kasi kung hindi naman nakikipag-participate ‘yung partner, walang mangyayari.”Jeremy G noticed how movies sketch love as black and white, yet in reality, “relationships are in a gray area. It’s unpredictable but it&#x27;s fun unpredictability.”Play this video for some ‘hugot’ sessions with your favorite Kapamilya artists.

What’s one thing you used to believe about relationships but no longer do today?