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Stingy Swedes? Viral tale spotlights Swedish cultural quirk

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Johannes Ledel, Agence France-Presse

<p>STOCKHOLM, Sweden - A sign of an inhospitable people or a view into an alien mindset: A viral tale of Swedish families not offering their children&#x27;s friends a place at the dinner table has captured the world&#x27;s attention.</p><p>The #Swedengate debate originated on a discussion forum on social media site Reddit, where a question about people&#x27;s weirdest experiences of a different culture yielded the following reply:</p><p>&quot;I remember going to my Swedish friend&#x27;s house. And while we were playing in his room, his mom yelled that dinner was ready. And check this. He told me to WAIT in his room while they ate.&quot; </p><p>Many echoed similar experiences -- and the discussion went viral, moving to other social media sites and raising questions such as does Sweden have a bizarre culture of inhospitality, and are Swedes simply cheap? </p><p>Or, is there another explanation?</p><p>Many Swedes weighed in to say that it was not an unusual experience. Others said it was rare, while some commented they had never even heard of the practice.</p><p>&quot;Growing up as a child, it would be really common to go and play at your friend&#x27;s house, and then they will be like, oh, I&#x27;m just going to go and have dinner. I&#x27;ll be back in 30. And they would just leave you in their room,&quot; Swedish pop singer Zara Larsson, 24, said in a video posted to TikTok.</p><p>Sweden has traditionally won praise for championing human rights, egalitarian policies and minimalistic design.</p><p>But in recent years, it has increasingly been portrayed in a negative light, making headlines for its controversial Covid strategy and problems with gang shootings and bombings.</p><p>For Richard Tellstrom, an associate professor at the Swedish University of Agricultural Sciences, what makes the #Swedengate debate so fascinating is that it reveals &quot;so much about ourselves and who we are.&quot; </p><div class="embed-wrap"><figure data-feedback="fb:likes,fb:comments"><img alt="Swedish cultural quirk" src="https://sa.kapamilya.com/absnews/abscbnnews/media/2022/life/06/08/20220608-swedish-cultural-quirk-1.jpg"/><figcaption><em>Photo by Faisal on Unsplash</em></figcaption></figure></div><div><strong>RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN FAMILIES</strong></div><p>Tellstrom explained that while it may seem strange to foreigners, the custom is not a sign that Swedes are stingy.</p><p>&quot;This is about the relationship between families and not ending up in debt to each other,&quot; the food historian told AFP.</p><p>He was quick to point out that the practice has never been universal and is much rarer nowadays than in the 1980s and 1990s.</p><p>But he also explained that in the Swedish mindset, there could be several reasons for not inviting your children&#x27;s playdates to dinner.</p><p>One could be that the family of the visiting child might be planning a dinner of their own and you would &quot;ruin the opportunity for them to be together as a family&quot; for that evening, Tellstrom said.</p><p>There are historical reasons, too.</p><p>In the early- to mid-20th century when Sweden was much poorer and people had more children, parents struggling to make ends meet would send their children to eat at their friends&#x27; houses. </p><p>As a result, merely offering to feed someone else&#x27;s child could be construed as an insult.</p><p>&quot;If you offer, you&#x27;re admitting that the other family has fallen on hard times,&quot; Tellstrom said, adding that according to the country&#x27;s traditionally Lutheran mindset, implying that another family was short on food also implied they were not right with God.</p><div class="embed-wrap"><figure data-feedback="fb:likes,fb:comments"><img alt="Swedish cultural quirk" src="https://sa.kapamilya.com/absnews/abscbnnews/media/2022/life/06/08/20220608-swedish-cultural-quirk-2.jpg"/><figcaption><em>Photo by Debbie Tea on Unsplash</em></figcaption></figure></div><div><strong>AVOIDING DEBT</strong></div><p>Debt -- and Swedes&#x27; relationship to it -- is another overarching theme, Tellstrom said.</p><p>&quot;If your children eat at my place a lot then you will be in debt to me, and that should be avoided because it is bad for our relationship as adults,&quot; he explained.</p><p>That culture can still be observed among Swedes going to bars, he noted, as they often avoid buying rounds, with everyone insisting instead on paying for their own drinks.</p><p>As a food culture scientist, Tellstrom welcomed the issue having presented an opportunity to explain a Swedish, and Nordic, cultural quirk.</p><p>At times, he also said, the confusion about the oddity can have unintended consequences.</p><p>&quot;I have been contacted by immigrants who have told me that they thought that they were left in their friends&#x27; room for ethnic reasons, that they weren&#x27;t good enough to sit at the dinner table,&quot; Tellstrom said.</p><p>&quot;Which is terribly sad because it has nothing to do with ethnicity but it has to do with feeling in debt,&quot; he added.</p><p>jll/po/kjm</p><div class="embed-wrap"><figure data-feedback="fb:likes,fb:comments"><img alt="Swedish cultural quirk" src="https://sa.kapamilya.com/absnews/abscbnnews/media/2022/life/06/08/20220608-swedish-cultural-quirk-3.jpg"/><figcaption><em>Photo by Eiliv-Sonas Aceron on Unsplash</em></figcaption></figure></div><div><strong>© Agence France-Presse</strong></div><figure class="op-interactive"><iframe allow="autoplay; fullscreen" frameBorder="0" height="100%" id="ivsplayer01" scrolling="no" src="https://player.ivideosmart.com/ivsplayer/v4/dist/html/iframe-src.html?iframeid=ivsplayer01&amp;key=e8c22c015ca9eafa76f1e3edfa03c603&amp;spid=3001339&amp;vid=2038437" width="100%"></iframe></figure><div class="iwantbar">Watch more News on <a href="https://www.iwanttfc.com/#!/browse/Genres/News/tag_id_genres/id_news" target="_blank">iWantTFC</a></div>

A viral tale of Swedish families not offering their children's friends a place at the dinner table has captured the world's attention.

Stingy Swedes? Viral tale spotlights Swedish cultural quirk

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Stingy Swedes? Viral tale spotlights Swedish cultural quirk

Johannes Ledel,

Agence France-Presse

Published June 08, 2022 04:37 PM PHT

Read More:

hospitality

sweden

dinner table

swedengate

ANC

food

stinginess

debt

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