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Why Ellen Adarna believes in 'living in' before marriage

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style="display:flex;flex-direction:column;flex-grow:1;justify-content:center;margin-bottom:24px"><div style="background-color:#F4F4F4;border-radius:4px;flex-grow:0;height:14px;margin-bottom:6px;width:224px"> </div><div style="background-color:#F4F4F4;border-radius:4px;flex-grow:0;height:14px;width:144px"> </div></div><div style="color:#c9c8cd;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:17px;margin-bottom:0;margin-top:8px;overflow:hidden;padding:8px 0 7px;text-align:center;text-overflow:ellipsis;white-space:nowrap"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CNrZ4F6lK06/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" style="color:#c9c8cd;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-style:normal;font-weight:normal;line-height:17px;text-decoration:none" target="_blank">A post shared by EA (@maria.elena.adarna)</a></div></div></blockquote><div><script async="" src="https://www.instagram.com/embed.js" type="text/javascript"></script></div><p>MANILA -- Ellen Adarna talked about the advantages of cohabiting or &quot;living in&quot; before marriage in a podcast hosted by Miss Universe 2015 Pia Wurtzbach and her fellow beauty queens.</p><p>In the <a href="https://open.spotify.com/episode/67Mu3IxXXNsc50bNUPxY8y?si=PQfdv0kdSyWL13fQDiYtpA&amp;utm_source=copy-link&amp;nd=1">interview</a> aired on Spotify, the actress revealed that she was &quot;kicked out of the house&quot; at the age of 18 so she can live independently, with her father later on encouraging her to live with her then boyfriend. </p><p>&quot;My dad suggested na, &#x27;Mag-live in na kayo, get to know your partner,&#x27;&quot; she recalled. &quot;Kasi &#x27;yun talaga &#x27;yung fear niya, na magpakasal kami at a very young age. So he wanted us to get to know our partner, know what we want and don&#x27;t want.&quot;</p><p>While her parents are generally &quot;not very conservative,&quot; Adarna said her mother was initially &quot;scared&quot; of the idea of her cohabiting.</p><p>But she is nevertheless thankful to have pushed through, saying she was able to learn more about herself. </p><p>&quot;I remember my dad always telling my mom when I was in high school. &#x27;You know, if you want your children to learn, you have to let them go.&#x27; Kasi ako I&#x27;m a mother, I know how it feels... na takot na takot siya,&quot; said Adarna, who has a son with ex-boyfriend John Lloyd Cruz.</p><ul class="op-related-articles">	<li><a href="https://news.abs-cbn.com/entertainment/04/15/21/ellen-adarna-describes-john-lloyd-cruz-as-a-present-father-to-son-elias">Ellen Adarna describes John Lloyd Cruz as a ‘present father’ to son Elias</a></li></ul><p>&quot;But because of that tough love, I learned a lot,&quot; she stressed.</p><p>Adarna acknowledged that cohabiting is not yet widely accepted in the Philippines, a predominantly Catholic country.</p><p>She believes that she had an easier time relating to the concept as her father does not adhere to Catholic principles. </p><p>&quot;Ano &#x27;yun, parang practicing Buddhist, so kami ring kids, we are more inclined or mas nakaka-relate kami sa ganoong ways,&quot; she explained. </p><div><strong>A DIFFERENT SIDE</strong></div><p>Adarna admitted that she has cohabited with all of her boyfriends, saying that she feels she &quot;does not know&quot; a person enough if she does not live under the same roof with him.</p><p>The actress pointed out that there are many things one can discover from his or her partner when they start living together.</p><p>&quot;Feeling ko if I don&#x27;t live in with a person... I don&#x27;t know him. How will I get to know him, how will I get to know the truth? Kasi it&#x27;s so different when you&#x27;re in the same house,&quot; she said.</p><ul class="op-related-articles">	<li><a href="https://news.abs-cbn.com/focus/02/09/17/i-dont-why-some-filipinos-do-not-marry">I don&#x27;t: Why some Filipinos do not marry</a></li></ul><p>Citing her experience, she said cohabiting was able to help her get out of relationships that she feels were not a good fit, such as from a former partner who would &quot;degrade me like it&#x27;s a normal thing.&quot;</p><p>&quot;He would throw things at my yaya,&quot; she added. &quot;Nakita ko ito after mga seven months... Doon na lumabas.&quot;</p><p>&quot;I think that&#x27;s why my relationships don&#x27;t last long. Kasi &#x27;di ako matiisin eh. Parang, &#x27;Ayoko na &#x27;to, so what&#x27;s the point?&#x27; Sasabihin ko, &#x27;We lived in for months tapos ayoko na to be with this guy. I cannot see a future with this guy. So why would I waste my time?&#x27;&quot; she stressed.</p><ul class="op-related-articles">	<li><a href="https://news.abs-cbn.com/entertainment/09/20/12/celebs-say-no-living-marriage">Celebs say no to &#x27;living in&#x27; before marriage</a></li></ul><div><strong>MORE EXPERIENCED</strong></div><p>In the interview, Adarna agreed with the hosts of &quot;Between Us Queens&quot; as they pointed out that a woman who has experienced living in with different partners does not &quot;devalue&quot; her in any way.</p><p>She joined the beauty queens in reiterating that women are not &quot;objects&quot; that are &quot;used&quot; in relationships, but are humans just like men as they try to navigate life.</p><p>&quot;Why would you want to be with someone who&#x27;s not experienced?&quot; she said in jest. &quot;Kung mas experienced, e &#x27;di mas more wisdom, &#x27;di ba? More mature.&quot;</p><p>&quot;Some are just lucky na &#x27;yung first love nila [pinapakasalan nila], and that&#x27;s it,&quot; she added, saying that others had to go through many relationships to finally find their match. </p><p>Meanwhile, Adarna shared why she decided she is ready for marriage to her current boyfriend, actor Derek Ramsay.</p><ul class="op-related-articles">	<li><a href="https://news.abs-cbn.com/entertainment/03/30/21/game-over-ellen-adarna-derek-ramsay-now-engaged">Game over! Ellen Adarna, Derek Ramsay now engaged</a></li></ul><p>She said she was able to do &quot;a lot of inner work&quot; and learn to &quot;communicate in a healthy way,&quot; which led to things going &quot;very smoothly&quot; with Ramsay.</p><p>&quot;Before, the reason why my relationships didn&#x27;t work, akala ko sila &#x27;yung may problema. But it was the same pattern. It was me... it&#x27;s because I wouldn&#x27;t open up. I would hide it and keep it all in. I wouldn&#x27;t express how I really feel,&quot; she said.</p><p>&quot;Noong nag-inner work ako, na-realize ko na, &#x27;Oh my God, mali ko pala &#x27;yun.&#x27; So when I met Derek, I was able to express it. I was better at expressing myself, and things just went very smoothly,&quot; she added. </p><p>When asked to give a message to those who are considering the idea of &quot;living in,&quot; Adarna replied: &quot;Mahirap kasi talaga if you don&#x27;t really know the person... Let&#x27;s say if you&#x27;re going to marry him, mag-iiba kasi talaga eh. Okay na &#x27;yang i-test drive mo muna bago mo bilhin.&quot;</p><p>&quot;It&#x27;s for your protection. You also have to think about the future and yourself. Things can really go wrong. There&#x27;s nothing certain,&quot; she ended.</p><div><strong>Related video:</strong></div><figure class="op-interactive"><iframe allow="autoplay; fullscreen" frameBorder="0" height="100%" id="ivsplayer01" scrolling="no" src="https://player.ivideosmart.com/ivsplayer/v4/dist/html/iframe-src.html?iframeid=ivsplayer01&amp;key=e8c22c015ca9eafa76f1e3edfa03c603&amp;spid=3001339&amp;vid=1651899" width="100%"></iframe></figure><div class="iwantbar">Watch more in <a href="//www.iwantv.com.ph/">iWantv</a> or <a href="//tfc.tv/">TFC.tv</a></div>

<p>Ellen Adarna talked about the advantages of cohabiting or "living in" before marriage in a podcast hosted by Miss Universe 2015 Pia Wurtzbach and her fellow beauty queens. </p>

Ellen Adarna talked about the advantages of cohabiting or "living in" before marriage in a podcast hosted by Miss Universe 2015 Pia Wurtzbach and her fellow beauty queens.