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Two faces of motherhood: one longs for her son, the other for her mother

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Tarra Quismundo, ABS-CBN News

Motherhood is tough. But for some, the challenge can be extraordinary. And for these two moms, marking their day is bittersweet, as both struggle to fill personal voids wrought by the pain of separation. One is longing for her lost son, still hoping he would return. The other is grappling with her choice not to see her mother and hide from her the truth, afraid that revealing her current lot- detained for a crime she insists she did not commit- would break her heart. These are the stories of Edita Burgos and Leila de Lima.<div>BURGOS: &#x27;I hope he would come home to surprise me on Mother&#x27;s Day&#x27;</div><div class="embed-wrap"><figure data-feedback="fb:likes,fb:comments"><img src="http://sa.kapamilya.com/absnews/abscbnnews/media/2017/sports/05/13/edita-burgos-2017-051317.jpg?ext=.jpg"/><figcaption><div class="embed-desc">Edita Burgos holds a photo of her missing son in one of the many rallies where she has appeared to press for her son&#x27;s release. <cite>FILE PHOTO by Vincent Go for ABS-CBN News</cite></div></figcaption></figure></div>Ten years on, 73-year-old Burgos continues to search for her son Jonas, an activist abducted at a Quezon City mall on April 28, 2007. She believes the military took her son. <ul class="op-related-articles" title="Read:">	<li>Read: <a href="http://news.abs-cbn.com/news/04/28/17/10-years-after-justice-for-jonas-burgos-still-nowhere-in-sight">10 years after, justice for Jonas Burgos still nowhere in sight </a></li></ul>Marking Mother&#x27;s Day had always been joyful for Burgos, whose five children usually surprised her with do-it-yourself cards, paintings, paper flowers, even a butong-pakwan seed shell cracker and other creative presents &quot;that would make life easier for me.&quot; But she started anticipating with some trepidation the coming of &quot;The Day&quot; since Jonas, her third-born, disappeared just a few weeks before Mother&#x27;s Day a decade ago. &quot;With Jonas’ disappearance… the approaching of ‘The Day’ would bring about a feeling of loneliness, which would get more intense with the commercial reminders we see on TV and other advertisements,&quot; Burgos told ABS-CBN News.&quot;And though I tell myself that Jonas would come back when God wills it so, deep in my heart I hope that he would come home to surprise me on Mother’s Day,&quot; she said. She recalled the &quot;most significant Mother&#x27;s Day gift&quot; she ever received from Jonas: a handmade letter-holder out of wood and leather.&quot;[He]... wrapped this gift with crepe paper (he had no money to buy a gift wrapper) and handed the gift to me holding both sides firmly. I found out that he couldn’t get the tape to stick so he just held on to the wrapper so it wouldn’t open,&quot; Burgos said. Jonas was then 11 years old.&quot;I miss Jonas’ kind of gifts… his hugs and his ‘noise&#x27;,&quot; she said. Burgos said the rest of her children and her eight grand children made sure to cheer her up every time the occasion came, but she could not help but long for Jonas. &quot;...I all the more cherish their efforts knowing that I soon could be gone too, and I want to leave memories they too can hold dear. But without Jay’s (Jonas&#x27;) greeting, somehow, something is lacking,&quot; she said.&quot;Void not withstanding, I am more vocal about my appreciation to Jonas’ siblings and toward my grandchildren. I am not much of a vocal person, but Jonas’ disappearance has taught me to be more expressive of my appreciation,&quot; she added. She spoke of the &quot;courage, strength, resiliency and creativity&quot; that motherhood demands. Most of all, she spoke of unwavering faith. It is what has pulled her through in arguably her life&#x27;s biggest trial, and she wishes the same upon all mothers going through their own ordeal. &quot;Even if all odds are against us, as a mother we can overcome these trials if we remember that we have a God of the Impossible. &quot;What is impossible to man is possible to God.” Love for one’s child is a prayer that God cannot ignore. We simply have to have faith,&quot; said Burgos. Whenever she needs comfort, Burgos would remember the Blessed Virgin Mary during Christ&#x27;s crucifixion. &quot;When I feel lonely and long for Jonas’ hug, I recall how the Blessed Mother cried at the foot of the cross, wishing that she could hug her suffering Son. Then I feel consoled,&quot; she said. <div> DE LIMA: &#x27;She hasn&#x27;t heard from me, not even via phone.&#x27;</div><div class="embed-wrap"><figure data-feedback="fb:likes,fb:comments"><img src="http://sa.kapamilya.com/absnews/abscbnnews/media/2017/news/03/13/20170313-delima-qc-court-rtr-1.jpg"/><figcaption><div class="embed-desc">Detained Sen. Leila de Lima arrives under heavy guard at the Quezon City Regional Trial Court in March for a hearing on an obstruction of justice case against her. Romeo Ranoco, Reuters</div></figcaption></figure></div>It has been more than two months since De Lima, detained on drug charges at the Philippine National Police Custodial Center, last saw and spoke with her 84-year-old mother Norma. Up to this day, the senator&#x27;s mother believes what she had been told: that her daughter is on an extended overseas trip. It was a conscious decision that De Lima and her three siblings had made to spare their mother the pain of knowing that one of her children is in jail.That she would not be seeing her mother on the special day for moms grips De Lima with sadness, even while she would get the chance to see her own children, Israel and Vincent Joshua, and her two grandchildren on Mother&#x27;s Day.&quot;As I look forward to this special day with my children and grandchildren, sadness engulfs me knowing that my mother cannot be with us,&quot; she told ABS-CBN News in a handwritten letter.&quot;My mom still doesn&#x27;t know my real situation, but I&#x27;m sure she can sense that something is not right. She hasn&#x27;t heard from me, not even via phone, for more than two months now,&quot; De Lima said. Missing her mother- a choice by force of circumstance- would cast a shadow as De Lima marks Mother&#x27;s Day with a get-together with relatives, friends and supporters at the custodial center in Camp Crame. De Lima, <a href="http://news.abs-cbn.com/news/02/24/17/philippine-law-enforcers-arrest-duterte-critic-on-drug-charges">arrested</a> on Feb. 24 on non-bailable drug charges she has repeatedly denied, will hear mass with her guests and later share a &quot;fiesta-like lunch&quot; to celebrate the special day for moms along with relatives&#x27; birthdays. The fiesty senator, who had anticipated her arrest calling it a vindication against her by the administration, said she had prepared herself and her children for her incarceration and the indefinite separation it would entail. Still, she conceded, nobody could be fully ready for such an experience. &quot;Just as I prepared myself psychologically for what was eventually done to me by this vindictive President, I also prepared my children for this toughest ordeal of my life. I simply told them to be strong and continue to be strong as this will surely pass with God&#x27;s grace and mercy,&quot; said De Lima, a devout Catholic.&quot;But then again, how can anyone, let alone my children, be fully prepared for something like this? I suffer an indescribable pain whenever my I think of my children and grandchildren under these circumstances that have been unjustly foisted upon us,&quot; she said.De Lima encouraged other mothers experiencing difficulties to somehow look at the bright side: that there is good in every experience, no matter how grim.&quot;I want to tell mothers who are facing challenges now that though they may not be in full control of when the suffering will end- it will ever end- they nevertheless remain in control of one thing: the good that can come out of these sufferings. Let your suffering be not in vain,&quot; she said. The former justice chief and Commission and Human Rights chair, for long outspoken over reported vigilante slays under the administration&#x27;s war on drugs, had a special message to mothers who had lost loved ones to summary killings. &quot;...[S]tand up and make your sufferings known; refuse to accept the status quo, demand from this government what you and your children desire- to be treated with dignity and be given the protection and rights that were assured to you under our Constitution,&quot; De Lima said. She encouraged mothers suffering through loss to make their leaders accountable. &quot;Always hold them accountable- for your sake and the sake of your children and your children&#x27;s children,&quot; she said. The administration has long denied sanctioning any extrajudicial killing amid its anti-drug campaign, saying roughly 2,700 drug suspects who have died since President Duterte took power resisted arrested or were first to fire in presumed legitimate police operations.

Motherhood is tough. But for some, the challenge can be extraordinary. And for these two moms, marking their day is bittersweet, as both struggle to fill personal voids wrought by the pain of separation.

Motherhood is tough. But for some, the challenge can be extraordinary. And for these two moms, marking their day is bittersweet, as both struggle to fill personal voids wrought by the pain of separation.

Two faces of motherhood: one longs for her son, the other for her mother

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Two faces of motherhood: one longs for her son, the other for her mother

Tarra Quismundo,

ABS-CBN News

Published May 13, 2017 05:57 PM PHT

|

Updated May 13, 2017 09:07 PM PHT

Read More:

Mother's Day

Edita Burgos

Jonas Burgos

Leila de Lima

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