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China's 'full-time dads' challenge patriarchal norms

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Agence France-Presse

<div><span class="fr-img-caption fr-fic fr-dib"><span class="fr-img-wrap"><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1727247997102Screen Shot 2024-09-25 at 3.06.07 PM.png" class="fr-fic fr-dib"/><span class="fr-inner" style="text-align:left">This photo taken on August 9, 2024 shows stay-at-home dad Chen Hualiang (L) looking on as his children play in their living room in Shanghai. Photo by Hector Retamal/AFP<br id="isPasted"/></span></span></span></div><p>SHANGHAI, China — Cooking, cleaning and caring for the kids during the day, Chen Hualiang takes on household tasks many Chinese fathers tend to leave to their wives, bucking a deep-rooted patriarchal tradition and even inspiring a hit TV show.</p><p>The former project manager gave up the rat race to join a growing number of &quot;full-time dads&quot;, as they are known in China.</p><p>&quot;When you work, you dream of a great career and that this money will help your family,&quot; he told AFP from a villa in the suburbs of Shanghai, his four-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son playing nearby.</p><p>&quot;But nothing is certain, and a salary is not necessarily what your family needs the most.&quot;</p><p>Social norms in China have for centuries dictated that men are the breadwinners, while women take care of the household and children.</p><p>&quot;My father was just a father. I never felt like he could help me, except financially,&quot; said Chen.</p><p>&quot;I want to be like a friend to my children, so they can share things with me.&quot;</p><p>Over half of Chinese men now say they would agree to become a stay-at-home dad, a 2019 survey cited by state media suggested -- up from just 17 percent in 2007.</p><p>That has coincided with a broader recognition of women&#x27;s rights and their access to higher education, though they are still under-represented in senior roles.</p><p>&quot;The increase in the number of stay-at-home dads is due to the fact that women have a higher status today,&quot; Pan Xingzhi, founder of an online psychological counseling platform, told AFP.</p><p>People also see &quot;value for money&quot; -- for a couple, foregoing a salary and taking care of their baby themselves is often less expensive than hiring a nanny or a childminder, Pan said.</p><div><br/></div><div><strong>&#x27;SUPER HELPFUL&#x27;</strong></div><div><br/></div><p>For Chen, his decision to stay home frees up time for his wife Mao Li, author of a bestselling book on stay-at-home fathers.</p><p>&quot;At the beginning of our marriage, I wondered about his helpfulness as a spouse,&quot; she said.</p><p>&quot;He worked a lot, so he didn&#x27;t help me with the children and didn&#x27;t pay me much attention. But now he takes care of the children and stays at home, I find him super helpful,&quot; she said.</p><p>&quot;I give him 9.5 out of 10.&quot;</p><p>On Xiaohongshu, China&#x27;s equivalent of Instagram, other young stay-at-home dads proudly promote their lifestyle choice.</p><p>Chang Wenhao, 37, a content creator and education entrepreneur from the southern Chinese city of Zhuhai, is one convert.</p><p>He adjusted his working hours to be available 80 percent of the time for his seven-year-old daughter and five-year-old son, taking them camping, horse riding, cycling and hiking.</p><p>&quot;In terms of educational methods, encouragement, how to build self-confidence, develop their skills, their independence in life, I bring them things they don&#x27;t learn at school or from other adults,&quot; he said.</p><p>Mao&#x27;s book has inspired a 36-episode television series called &quot;Husband and Wife&quot; on the theme of full-time dads, rekindling the sometimes-heated debate about the role of men in the home in China.</p><p>&quot;My parents are a little concerned that I am a stay-at-home dad,&quot; Chen said.</p><p>&quot;Some people, especially on social media, say that I live off my wife.&quot;</p><div><br/></div><div><strong>&#x27;YOU HAVE TO WORK&#x27;</strong></div><div><br/></div><p>Plenty of other stay-at-home dads also report pushback from their families.</p><p>Xu Xiaolin, 34, from the eastern Chinese of Xiamen, has been a stay-at-home dad since the company he worked for went bankrupt.</p><p>&quot;In the beginning, my parents and grandparents often said: you have to work,&quot; Xu told AFP.</p><p>&quot;Elderly neighbors sometimes make comments to them. It bothers them, so they put pressure on me.&quot;</p><p>Passers-by sometimes make fun of him when he walks his two-year-old son alone, he said.</p><p>&quot;But people under 35 no longer have that mentality.&quot;</p><p>Chang, the entrepreneur, also said he has noticed the beginnings of a change in recent years.</p><p>&quot;Many fathers are starting to value the company and education of their children&quot; and listening to their needs.</p><p>&quot;This will continue to develop,&quot; he said.</p><p>&quot;But profound change will still take time.&quot;</p><div><br/></div><div><strong>—By Ludovic Ehret, Agence France-Presse</strong></div>

<p>The former project manager gave up the rat race to join a growing number of "full-time dads", as they are known in China.</p>

The former project manager gave up the rat race to join a growing number of "full-time dads", as they are known in China.