Alexandra Berenguer-Testa

Gen next and their experience with the practice of breastfeeding their newborns

Article (news)

The balance of breastfeeding

ABS-CBN Lifestyle

I’m a very new mother, two months in to be exact. I feel like I have been preparing for this role my whole life – I grew up without a mom, she passed away when I was five. I believe that I took on her maternal energy upon her passing. Thus, I’ve always been in a space of nurturing: holding space for my family, raising my younger siblings, being the mom of the friend group. Now stepping into motherhood, I feel like I’ve unlocked generations worth of wisdom and am walking the path of thousands before me. Motherhood is exhilarating, enthralling and exhausting all at once. It has expanded my heart tenfold, yet feels like an everyday battle of balance.I anticipated the big emotions going into this: feeling everything all at once, existing in the plane between immense joy and exhausting isolation. I also knew it was going to be a learn-on-the-job kind of thing, that I would pick up parenting from the everyday experience and practice of it. Everyone said right before giving birth &#x27;sleep while you still can!&#x27; and I watched multiple YouTube videos on how to take care of a baby in the newborn phase. I felt somewhat prepared for what to expect. I was ready to throw myself into it with everything I had.However, the thing that surprised me the most was how intense the act of breastfeeding was. This part of becoming a mother is not spoken about or discussed nearly enough. I wish there were more resources readily available and more online discourse about how difficult it could be. We all get exposed to the difficulty of pregnancy, the intensity and pain of labor and delivery. All the while, <a href="https://www.abs-cbn.com/lifestyle/2025/8/18/august-is-national-breastfeeding-awareness-month-why-is-breast-milk-important-0623">breastfeeding is probably the most physically, sometimes emotionally, demanding aspect of our three-act transition into motherhood</a>. It is all-consuming and non-stop around the clock.<div><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/175568990783620250803_175820(1).jpg" class="fr-fic fr-dib" style="width:960px"/>Breastfeeding: a demanding aspect of early motherhood. Image courtesy of Mara Javier Schulze</div>My breastfeeding experience has been quite positive which I know may sound like a rare occurrence. My son was able to latch when he was born and it’s been a seamless process for the most part. He eats well and consistently throughout the day. Nursing is my way of bonding with him. It is a form of connection and sharing my energy with my son. The feeling of contentment seeing him full after a feed is unmatched. He is fully breastfed and I intend on nursing until at least six months, but with how it’s going it may be even longer. On the other hand, I felt a lot of pressure and anxiety to feed my child in the early days. Having the sole responsibility of making sure my son was getting enough nourishment and growing well was quite nervewracking. There have been times when I doubted myself on how much milk I was producing, moments I literally cried over spilled milk and self-criticizing thoughts of whether or not he was eating well enough. Sometimes in the quiet moments, my inner critic still creeps up and asks &#x27;are you even doing enough?&#x27;.This is where the support of my fellow mothers has become the most important. I have friends who only lasted two weeks due to nipple pain and those that gracefully breastfed until well over a year. Everyone’s journey of breastfeeding is truly their own individual experience, but the main thing we all have in common is the volatility of our emotions. From feeling empowered, doubtful, exhausted and connected – we can all relate to each other from an emotional and mental aspect.The main difference from older generations is the pressure that we get from social media and how that affects our perspective. We see the highlight reel of mothers and it perpetuates the thought that we’re not doing enough. Everyone thinks they are an expert on Instagram preaching their advice; sometimes it creates feelings of doubt and inadequacy. I try to tune out the online noise by speaking one-on-one to other moms and this has given me more peace of mind that I’m not alone in my experience. With pressure coming from all angles, this connection and kindness counterbalances the internal doubt that arises.Seeing him eating and growing well has brought so much gratitude for my body and what it can do. I understand it doesn’t always come naturally. Sometimes we take for granted how powerful and nourishing this process is. To literally create the sustenance that keeps your child alive – it is a perfect opportunity to practice gratitude. I can see that my body is capable of wondrous things. I look at how much he’s grown every time he feeds by measuring where his foot lays on me. It is a beautiful feeling.<div><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/175569013140620250817_124046(1).jpg" class="fr-fic fr-dib" style="width:960px"/>All smiles while bonding with baby. Image courtesy of Mara Javier Schulze</div>Admittedly, it took a lot of time to accept how demanding this is and be okay with it all. The three main adjustments I have had to make are in my time, my energy and my bodily autonomy. Being at someone’s beck and call, having your time revolve around your baby’s schedule, not being able to tell what time it is in the early days – your time belongs to your baby. The physical demands of feeling drained of your energy after every feed, being constantly hungry and feeling extra exhausted if you don’t drink enough water or eat enough – it is wildly tiring at times and feels like you’re running a never-ending marathon. Teetering between immense gratitude for the body and fighting physical exhaustion is a delicate balancing act. Breastfeeding shows us that these conflicting feelings can exist at the same time.In the first month, I felt a real sense that my body didn’t belong to me. You’re giving so much of yourself, while not getting any response in return aside from their cries. This perpetuated the feeling that my body’s sole purpose was to feed my child. I described myself as a milk factory, purely existing for this function. The way I looked at my body also changed, and for a while, in a negative light. The lack of ownership of my own body created a disconnect in my self-identity and autonomy. This has become a conflict between who I was before and my new role as a mother – all of which I am still navigating.The main lesson I have learned through breastfeeding is the daily dance of balance. It is a beautiful experience but not every feed will be beautiful; and in those moments, I try to practice self-kindness. There will be days where he feeds every hour, and that is when I practice patience. And in the times where everything is seamless and peaceful, I step into gratitude for my baby and my body. Breastfeeding can be intense in both the highs and lows, but acknowledging and being present in this intensity can forge a wonderful experience of motherhood.ABOUT THE AUTHOR<div>Mara Javier Schulze is a Filipino creative entrepreneur and most recently became a mother to her son Leon. As the Co-Founder and Managing Director of one of the biggest and most established creative design agencies in Manila – PINO Studio – she has helped build brands like Pickup Coffee and Auro Chocolate. She&#x27;s also a business consultant, certified life coach, energetic healer and award-winning choreographer and director. As a mom, she is navigating this new chapter of motherhood while balancing the other facets of her life.</div>

With the added pressure from Social Media on the do's and don'ts of breastfeeding, next gen moms need to find the balance of seeking advice and going with their maternal instincts

With the added pressure from Social Media on the do's and don'ts of breastfeeding, next gen moms need to find the balance of seeking advice and going with their maternal instincts

The balance of breastfeeding: lessons in patience and presence

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The balance of breastfeeding: lessons in patience and presence

ABS-CBN Lifestyle,

Mara Javier Schulze

Published Aug 22, 2025 02:13 PM PHT

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Updated Aug 22, 2025 08:09 PM PHT

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