Sofia Monica Regalado, ABS-CBN News

MANILA -- Everybody is in Facebook right now: your parents, friends, your four-year-old cousin, neighbors, officemates, your boss, even your bosses’ dog. Practically everyone who has taken part in your life belongs to various social media platforms in the web, and whether we like it or not, that includes your exes.Most people turn to social media to express themselves. The integration of social media in the everyday lives of people is so immense that some people will post almost anything and everything about their lives. Their latest #fitspiration? Posted. Viral kitten videos? Shared. Hotdog sandwich snack? Selfie’d. They express emotions of different varieties like depression, fury, excitement, and of course, love. Signs of affection are present in everyday life. This includes a mother kissing her child goodbye as she leaves home to go to school, a group of friends placing their arms around each other’s shoulder to celebrate (pag-aakbay), close pals greeting with a kiss on the cheek (beso-beso), among others. Displays of affection between people who are romantically involved are classified as public display of affection (PDA).Filipinos who are conservative, despite internationally changing norms, accept few public acts of affection such as holding hands, hugs, and pecks on the cheek. However, openly kissing each other on the lips and sexual acts are unwelcome.&quot;’Yung kultura natin, generally speaking, napakalakas pa rin ng moral pressure ng simbahan,&quot; said Far Eastern University (FEU) Prof. Fe Atanacio-Blas.&quot;If you make it (displays of affection) public, you don&#x27;t exempt yourselves to the judgments, from their judging eyes, especially those from the older generation.&quot;Despite this, Atanacio-Blas, who focuses on sociology, particularly on Asian studies, explained in an interview with ABS-CBN News, that PDA can make a person feel confident and secure.&quot;Just like marriage, when you do your wedding vows in the church, you&#x27;re declaring it publicly. ‘Pag nag-PDA kayo, ‘he&#x27;s mine, she&#x27;s mine.’ Nandoon ang element of exclusivity,&quot; she said.<div>Online display of affection and insecurity</div>In the rising age of social media, PDAs can easily be expressed online where, in a touch of the button, the entire world can discover a blooming relationship. Posting relationship status online may not be problematic. However, excessively updating the relationship status is.According to a study by Lydia Emery, Amy Muise, Emily Dix, and Benjamin Le in 2014 and published in a US psychology journal, more often than not, people on social media are concerned about how other people see them.Relationship visibility is a form of impression management or setting of stage where they want to have their relationships appear to be an important aspect to their self-concept. When noticed, it gives them a sense of fulfillment, especially when the reaction is positive.“When you post a picture, you won&#x27;t post something that is ugly. May filter pa,&quot; Atanacio-Blas shared.She warned, however: &quot;Those who excessively post in social media, especially pertaining to displays of affection are narcissistic and not normal.&quot;Exorbitant posting of seemingly positive status may be a thin veil to obscure the real problem: insecurity.&quot;One of those signs of insecurity is you don&#x27;t know how to address it. And then all of a sudden, there is now an easy platform to cure that insecurity,&quot; she said.&quot;Usually ‘yung mga taong ganun, wala silang ipagmamalaki kundi kung anong meron sila. The more that they show more things in Facebook, that only means that&#x27;s the only thing that they have, nothing more.&quot;The same study concluded that the more times that a partner feels insecure about his partner’s feelings, he tends to make their relationship more visible online. The goal is to compensate by making others who are online feel that everything in the relationship is going smoothly. The more “likes” and other positive comments people receive with regards to their relationships, the more they feel convinced and reassured of the relationship.&quot;Yung ego nadagdagan sa kada ‘likes,’ para bang you just fueled the fire and then say &#x27;ay, magpo-post pa ako ng marami because people tend to like it,&#x27;” Atanacio-Blas said.With Facebook now boasting more than a billion users, and other social media platforms gaining popularity, Atanacio-Blas said this paves the way for louder social media presence for couples.But she reminds them: the more the relationship is secure, the more that the couple would want to keep it private and sacred.

The integration of social media in the everyday lives of people is so immense that some people will post almost anything and everything about their lives, including, of course, love

Online display of affection: A sign of insecurity?

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Online display of affection: A sign of insecurity?

Sofia Monica Regalado,

ABS-CBN News

Published February 14, 2016 08:42 PM PHT

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Updated February 15, 2016 10:12 AM PHT

Read More:

social media

pia regalado

affection

love

online display of affection

insecurity

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