Maritess De Ocampo

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Dad's Mental Health Matters Too

<div><br/></div><div><span class="fr-img-caption fr-fic fr-dib" style="width:957.995px;display:block" width="957.995"><span class="fr-img-wrap"><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1782726865243Thumbnail Dad&#x27;s Mental Health FINAL.jpg" class="fr-fic fr-dib" style="width:957.995px;height:auto" width="957.995"/><span class="fr-inner"><em>Photo from </em><a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/close-up-photo-of-man-sleeping-while-leaning-on-cane-7188910/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Pexels by Eren Li</em></a></span></span></span></div><p>When we imagine the ideal father, the picture is often familiar: a man of quiet strength who carries the weight of life without complaint. He provides for his family, offers wisdom when needed, protects those he loves, and remains steady even in difficult times. This image can be inspiring, but it also carries a heavy and often unspoken cost. For many fathers, the expectation to be strong at all times becomes less a source of pride and more a silent pressure that leaves little room for fear, sadness, uncertainty, or rest.</p><p>Fatherhood brings deep meaning and purpose, but it can also expose men to emotional strain that is rarely acknowledged by families, communities, workplaces, and even fathers themselves. A father’s distress can be hidden behind competence, long work hours, responsibility, humor, or silence. Too often, this silence is praised as resilience when it may actually be a sign that he has nowhere safe to place his emotional burden. If families are to thrive, fathers must be allowed to be human and not only providers and protectors, but people who also need care, encouragement, and support.</p><p>Being a provider should not be treated as a solo role, yet it remains one of the most durable expectations placed on men. In many families and cultures, earning money is still seen as a central measure of masculine success. Because of this, some fathers strongly anchor their identity and worth in their income, job stability, and career progress. When work becomes uncertain, finances become tight, or illness and disability affect earning capacity, the stress is not only financial. It can feel personal, shameful, and deeply demeaning, as if difficulty providing means failure as a man.</p><p>Relieving this pressure begins with redefining worth. The men in our lives need to hear that they are valued for who they are, not only for what they bring home. Their humor, kindness, patience, work ethic, presence, and love all matter. A father is not merely an income source; he is an essential part of the family’s emotional life. When families affirm this, they help lift an immense weight from his shoulders.</p><p>Financial planning can also become a shared responsibility rather than a private burden. Open conversations about budgeting, savings, debt, and long-term goals help reduce chronic anxiety. When couples and adult family members approach money as a team, fathers are less likely to feel that every financial problem rests on their shoulders alone. Transparency does not remove every difficulty, but it makes the load less isolating.</p><p>Appreciation matters as well. It is easy to take the work of providing for granted, especially when it becomes routine. Simple words of gratitude for effort, time, sacrifice, and presence can protect relationships from resentment. Fathers should not have to collapse before their families notice how much they have been carrying.</p><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><iframe class="instagram-media instagram-media-rendered" id="instagram-embed-0" src="https://www.instagram.com/tv/CBfthveFYlW/embed/?cr=1&amp;v=14&amp;wp=648&amp;rd=https%3A%2F%2Fod2-workbench-web.abs-cbn.com&amp;rp=%2F#%7B%22ci%22%3A0%2C%22os%22%3A1216522.8000000715%7D" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="" frameBorder="0" height="511" data-instgrm-payload-id="instagram-media-payload-0" scrolling="no" style="background:white;max-width:540px;width:calc(100% - 2px);border-radius:3px;border:1px solid rgb(219, 219, 219);box-shadow:none;display:block;margin:0px 0px 12px;min-width:326px;padding:0px"></iframe></div><script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script><div><br/></div><div><strong>Easing the Pressure to Protect</strong></div><p>Fathers are also expected to remain calm in a crisis and keep the family safe. Protection is a meaningful part of fatherhood, but problems arise when it is confused with constant toughness. Many men learn that showing fear, sadness, confusion, or exhaustion is unacceptable. Asking for help may feel like weakness. Over time, this can become emotionally isolating. A father may feel he must be the rock for everyone else, while having no safe place to admit that he is tired or afraid.</p><p>When men are taught to suppress difficult emotions, those emotions may surface as anger, numbness, irritability, withdrawal, or controlling behavior. What appears to be distance may actually be distress. What looks like impatience may be anxiety. Families can help by creating space for fathers to speak honestly without being judged, mocked, or immediately told to “be strong.” Protection comes in many forms: listening, planning, honesty, attentiveness, dependability, and the courage to ask for support when needed.</p><p>A family is safer when its members can be honest with one another. Children also learn from watching how fathers respond to stress. When a father can say, “I am worried,” “I need help,” or “I made a mistake,” he teaches emotional responsibility rather than weakness. Vulnerability, when practiced with care, does not make a father less heroic. It makes him more present, more relatable, and more connected to the people he loves.</p><div><br/></div><div><iframe class="instagram-media instagram-media-rendered" id="instagram-embed-2" src="https://www.instagram.com/p/DL7n7jQgPb8/embed/?cr=1&amp;v=14&amp;wp=648&amp;rd=https%3A%2F%2Fod2-workbench-web.abs-cbn.com&amp;rp=%2F#%7B%22ci%22%3A2%2C%22os%22%3A1913839.1000000238%7D" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="" frameBorder="0" height="857" data-instgrm-payload-id="instagram-media-payload-2" scrolling="no" style="background:white;max-width:540px;width:calc(100% - 2px);border-radius:3px;border:1px solid rgb(219, 219, 219);box-shadow:none;display:block;margin:0px 0px 12px;min-width:326px;padding:0px"></iframe></div><script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script><div><br/></div><div><strong>Changing Parenting Expectations</strong></div><p>Today’s fathers are increasingly expected to be emotionally present, nurturing, and actively involved. This is a welcome shift. Gone should be the days when mothers are treated as the default parents and fathers are praised for performing the most basic caregiving tasks. Yet the transition has been uneven, especially in more traditional and conservative settings. Many fathers are encouraged to be involved, but they are still left out of school communications, medical discussions, parenting groups, and public policies that assume caregiving belongs primarily to mothers.</p><p>This creates confusion. Fathers may wonder whether they are truly welcome in nurturing roles or whether they will be judged for stepping outside traditional expectations. In the Philippines, where migration for work has reshaped many families, more fathers have taken on primary caregiving responsibilities when mothers work abroad. Their experience challenges the idea that care is naturally and exclusively maternal. It also shows that men can adapt, nurture, comfort, organize, and guide family life in deeply meaningful ways.</p><p>A nurturing father can have a positive effect on a child’s cognitive, social, and emotional development. Children benefit when fathers are not distant authority figures but active participants in daily life: helping with homework, attending school events, preparing meals, listening to fears, setting boundaries, and offering comfort. Shared parenting also strengthens partnerships. When caregiving is treated as a joint responsibility from the beginning, the family’s emotional load becomes healthier and more balanced.</p><p>Institutions have a role to play. Schools, clinics, workplaces, and community groups can become more father-inclusive by addressing both parents, inviting fathers into conversations, and recognizing that men also need guidance and support in parenting. The more society treats fathers as capable caregivers, the easier it becomes for them to participate fully without shame or hesitation.</p><div><br/></div><div><iframe class="instagram-media instagram-media-rendered" id="instagram-embed-4" src="https://www.instagram.com/p/DItzALYtrLH/embed/?cr=1&amp;v=14&amp;wp=648&amp;rd=https%3A%2F%2Fod2-workbench-web.abs-cbn.com&amp;rp=%2F#%7B%22ci%22%3A4%2C%22os%22%3A2114769.8000000715%7D" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="" frameBorder="0" height="747" data-instgrm-payload-id="instagram-media-payload-4" scrolling="no" style="background:white;max-width:540px;width:calc(100% - 2px);border-radius:3px;border:1px solid rgb(219, 219, 219);box-shadow:none;display:block;margin:0px 0px 12px;min-width:326px;padding:0px"></iframe></div><script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script><div><br/></div><div><strong>Creating Space for Fathers to Be Supported</strong></div><p>Supporting fathers’ mental health does not always begin with grand gestures. It often begins with ordinary conversations. Asking, “How are you really?” and being willing to listen can make a difference. So can noticing changes in sleep, mood, appetite, patience, or energy. Fathers may not always describe their distress directly, so families should pay attention not only to what is said, but also to what is being carried quietly.</p><p>It is also important to normalize professional help. Therapy, counseling, peer support, and medical care should not be seen as last resorts or signs of failure. They are tools for health, just as checkups and treatment are tools for the body. When fathers receive support early, they are better able to care for themselves and their families. Encouraging help-seeking with respect rather than panic or criticism can reduce stigma and make support feel possible.</p><p>Workplaces can also help by recognizing that fathers have caregiving responsibilities and emotional lives. Flexible arrangements, parental leave, reasonable workloads, and supportive leadership can ease the pressure on men who are trying to balance earning, caregiving, and personal well-being. Communities and faith groups can contribute by creating spaces where fathers can talk honestly with other men without ridicule or judgment.</p><iframe class="instagram-media instagram-media-rendered" id="instagram-embed-6" src="https://www.instagram.com/p/DX46DcSgImy/embed/?cr=1&amp;v=14&amp;wp=648&amp;rd=https%3A%2F%2Fod2-workbench-web.abs-cbn.com&amp;rp=%2F#%7B%22ci%22%3A6%2C%22os%22%3A3416121.7000000477%7D" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="" frameBorder="0" height="882" data-instgrm-payload-id="instagram-media-payload-6" scrolling="no" style="background:white;max-width:540px;width:calc(100% - 2px);border-radius:3px;border:1px solid rgb(219, 219, 219);box-shadow:none;display:block;margin:0px 0px 12px;min-width:326px;padding:0px"></iframe><script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script><p>Fatherhood is challenging, meaningful, and often beautiful. But no father should have to prove his love by suffering in silence. The strongest families are not built by demanding that one person carry every burden alone. They are built through shared responsibility, open communication, appreciation, and compassion. Dads need mental health support too—not because they are weak, but because they are human. When we allow fathers to be cared for, we help them become healthier partners, more present parents, and fuller versions of themselves.</p><div><br/></div><div><strong>ABOUT THE AUTHOR</strong></div><div><strong><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1782725131174ZARAH HERNAEZ_PROFILE PHOTO.jpg" class="fr-fic fr-dib" style="width:295px"/></strong><br/></div><div><em>ZARAH R. HERNAEZ is a mental health advocate and US Certified Mental Health First Aider from the National Council for Behavioral Health, Washington DC, USA and a certified Positive Psychology and Well-Being Coach from the Stanford School of Medicine. She is also the founder of </em><a href="https://www.instagram.com/thewellnestph/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>The Wellnest PH</em></a><em>, a Mental Health Advocacy dedicated to creating a safe space and giving assistance to those going through mental health concerns in the Philippines. </em></div>

<p>Providing, protecting, and parenting come with invisible burdens that fathers shouldn’t carry alone.</p>

Providing, protecting, and parenting come with invisible burdens that fathers shouldn’t carry alone.

Beyond the strong, silent father: Why dads need mental health support too

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Beyond the strong, silent father: Why dads need mental health support too

Zarah R. Hernaez

Published June 29, 2026 06:01 PM PHT

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Updated June 29, 2026 06:05 PM PHT

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