When it comes to habit building, we often hear about the importance of discipline. “Just stick to it,” they say, “and it’ll become second nature.” But what if there’s another way? What if devotion—not just discipline—is the secret ingredient for creating habits that not only stick but truly enrich life?

For further insights, I reached out to Carelle Mangaliag-Herrera, an expert on Neurolinguistics Programming (NLP) having studied Neurosciences at the Wharton School and Neuroleadership Institute, and Behavioral Economics at Harvard University. Also the CEO of Trainstation, she has been helping people and organizations understand the brain deeper and overcome what stops us from having better results through brain-based tools.

Discipline is the foundation of building habits. But how sustainable is it?

Understanding The Brain: Labels Are Important

“Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) highlights how our brains are influenced by labels, shaping our behaviors and default systems. These systems, wired for quick thinking and survival, often conflict. On the one hand, our brain craves progress—seeking more achievements, improvements, and love. On the other, it resists change, favoring familiarity. This creates a ‘knowing-doing gap,’ where simply knowing something isn’t enough to drive change. Behavioral economics reveals that our brains have biases and defaults, and if there’s too much resistance between habits and desired outcomes, change becomes unlikely,” Carelle thoroughly shared. “Our brains crave for certainty. It is wired for habits and patterns because it has other more important things to do. It likes doing the familiar because that feels safe,” she added. 

Carelle Mangaliag-Herrera, CEO of Trainstation Philippines, and certified NLP Coach

“We are motivated in several ways. We have a biological drive with dopamine and our rewards center. The pleasure and pain principle is the carrot and the stick—rewards and punishment.

Now, we also have intrinsic motivators wherein we are motivated because of the performance of the task. That makes it sustainable. So if you have a habit you want to make sustainable, then it has to be something pleasurable to you.  When we label something better, we make it more pleasurable for us.”

"So if you have a habit you want to make sustainable, then it has to be something pleasurable to you."

Discipline Does Matter

Discipline is the backbone of habit-building. It’s the grit that keeps you going even when you’re tired, uninspired, or distracted. Think of it as the steady drumbeat in the background—reliable, unchanging, and necessary to stay on course.  

For example, waking up at 5 AM to exercise requires discipline, especially on mornings when your bed feels more inviting than the yoga mat. Discipline whispers, “submit to what you said.” It’s about commitment over comfort, showing up even when you don’t feel like it.  

But here’s the catch: discipline, while effective, can feel rigid. The mental toughness helps you power through, but without deeper motivation, it can lead to burnout or resentment.  

“Our brains move towards pleasure and away from pain. How the brain perceives labels or language, affects how we respond to it. Our limbic brain or that emotional brain is the one that gets sold to a new habit or new behavior so emotions have to be involved for the brain to have a compelling reason to change habits. So the term ‘discipline’ can be perceived as pain. Some people like this, some people don’t.  When it is perceived as pain or punishment, the brain moves away from it and avoids it.  Using the term “devotion” is deemed as something that has more emotion,” Carelle affirmed.

Devotion Sparks Joy 

While discipline is about “have to,” devotion is about “want to.” It’s the heartfelt connection you build with your habits, driven by passion and purpose. Devotion makes the mundane meaningful—it’s what transforms a chore into a ritual. 

Devotion isn’t about miserably forcing yourself.

Let’s revisit the 5 AM workout. If you approach it with devotion, you’re not just exercising—you’re moving your body as an act of self-care, appreciating its strength and capability. You’re also keeping a promise to yourself when you committed and pinned this activity down your supposed schedule. Devotion is the glow of gratitude, the feeling that what you’re doing matters to you on a soul level.

Unlike discipline, devotion isn’t about forcing yourself; it’s about aligning your habits with your values and desires. It brings joy and fulfillment, which makes habits feel less like obligations and more like choices you cherish. “Devotion usually connotes love and dedication. Coming up with a compelling reason WHY you should devote yourself to a habit is the pull behind the habit. We should not be pushed or driven towards it.  We should be drawn and pulled towards it, “ Carelle shared.

The Beneficial Balance

Here’s the truth: both discipline and devotion have their place in habit building. Discipline gets you started; devotion keeps you going. The key is to balance them in a way that feels sustainable and satisfying.  

Discipline and devotion can co-exist!

Start with discipline. When forming a new habit, discipline is often necessary to break inertia. The first few weeks of change can be tough, and discipline gives you the push to get through them.

Lean into devotion. Once the habit takes root, shift your mindset to focus on devotion. Ask yourself: *Why does this habit matter to me? How does it align with my goals and values?* By connecting with your “why,” you’ll find joy and meaning in the routine.

Be okay with the occasional misses. Life happens. There will be days when discipline falters and devotion wanes. That’s okay. Habit building isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress. Treat yourself with kindness, and remember that every day is an opportunity to begin again.

Make it about WHO you want to be. "I focus on habits at the identity level, tying them to who I am and who I aspire to be. To sustain them, I ensure consistency—even if it’s just for two minutes. Whether it’s reading, working out, or meditating—a quick version helps me stay committed. When laziness strikes, I either start small with two minutes, which often leads to doing more, or I remind myself of the promise I made to become the person I want to be. It’s more than discipline; it’s devotion—a deeper commitment to my word, my promise, and my growth," Carelle shared.

Habit building is all about balance

As women, we’re often juggling multiple roles—professionals, caregivers, mothers, friends, and dreamers. Instead of forcing habits through sheer willpower, let’s embrace a more intuitive approach. Discipline builds the structure, but devotion infuses it with life and love. The two create a harmonious dance that’s uniquely yours.

So the next time you set out to build a new habit, ask yourself: Am I approaching this with discipline, devotion, or both? Does this action push me towards the person I want to become? When you find the balance, you’ll discover that habit-building isn’t just about creating a better life—it’s about falling in love with the process along the way.