Nelson Morales

Dating? Avoid these red flags with finances when choosing your partner

Article (news)

Aneth Ng-Lim

<p>Women and men look for many things when choosing their partner. It could just be a mental list or something you even wrote down, or has become a clear pattern that those around you can easily tell when the person fits your type.</p><p>Whatever your top considerations, from looks to education to family background, even citizenship, make sure to also check on his or her financial IQ on your first date. In the same way we give plus points to intellect and IQ, or emotional maturity and EQ, financial IQ is a standard to determine if you won’t make a mistake trusting the other person with your money ‘til death do you part.</p><p>Financial IQ is not simply about having a lot of money. More importantly, it’s what the person does with her or his money, and if you share the same money wavelength, that truly matters. Here are some red ‘money’ flags to watch out for during your first personal encounter.</p><div><strong>Red Flag #1 Splitting the bill on first date</strong></div><p>Nothing bad about splitting the bill on your first date, and it should not be considered a red flag IF this was agreed before going on the date. Not bringing it up until it’s time to pay is a bit of a red flag, because it’s not easy to argue when the waitstaff is standing right there with both of you, witnessing the awkward episode. A bigger red flag is when the person who chose the restaurant picked an expensive one, without checking in with the other if the budget is okay, and saying that you’re going Dutch.</p><div><strong>Red Flag #2 Social drinker versus drinking on someone’s tab</strong></div><p>Adults are expected to mark social occasions with drinks, and that includes dates, especially when enjoying a meal together. But there is social drinking, and then there is drinking too much because someone else is picking up the tab. Whether it’s your first outing or second or third, good to see how he or she behaves when there is an open bar, or because you are splitting the bill regardless of who drinks more.</p><div><strong>Red Flag #3 Cash is good, but no credit card at all?</strong></div><p>Not everyone pays with credit cards and sometimes when I take a look around the room, I can see others paying with cash, or using electronic wallets, or paying by QR code. But an adult with no credit card in this day and age can be a red flag. Is it possible his or her credit history is ruined? Or the cards she or her owns are maxed out? This bears a little looking into, or maybe casually ask why and see if the answer is convincing and understandable.</p><div><strong>Red Flag #4 Forgot the wallet? But took the receipt?</strong></div><p>I came across a reader sharing her disastrous first date with Marketwatch.com and this was not just one, but two red flags. At the end of the meal, he told her to pay for it because he left his wallet at home. I would have argued about checking his phone to pay with eWallet, or scan a QR code. For a first date, this is very bad form. But then he made it worse by asking her to give him the receipt so he can use it for tax claim. If this happens to you, make sure to ask him to pay back his share as soon as he gets home.</p><p>Or take a cab home together, and wait for him in the cab while he gets his wallet and pays you back! Needless to say, this should be the first and late date.</p><div><strong>Red Flag #5 Asking too many questions about your money!</strong></div><p>There are many things you won’t know about each other on the first date, and this is the time to start getting to know one another. But that is no reason to overshare, especially on your money situation. The key word here is ‘start’. So if you feel you are getting too many questions about your personal (even family) net worth, you don’t have to answer his or her questions. The first date is not the time to disclose how much you make in a month, if you own investments, the businesses your family owns (if any), if you own your house, have a car, etc. You can share where you work, and that should be enough for now. If the other persists on asking these questions, turn the table around and ask the same questions.</p>

<p>In the same way that we give plus points to intellect and IQ, or emotional maturity and EQ, financial IQ is also an important standard.</p>

In the same way that we give plus points to intellect and IQ, or emotional maturity and EQ, financial IQ is also an important standard.