Julia Christine Botin

Article (news)

Aneth Ng-Lim

<p>In a roundtable with successful women, I asked them how they manage the different financial dynamics in their households.  After all, most of them, if not all of them, are likely making more money than their husbands.</p><p>One candidly shared her sofa story.  When she got her first big bonus, she decided to splurge on a new couch for their living room.  She said she and her husband hadn’t bought any new furniture in years, as they were paying off their housing loan, their car loan and their children’s tuition fees.</p><p>Her husband, whom she described as usually an easy-going person, did not say anything.  But he never sat on the new sofa and made sure to avoid it.  When she finally asked him about it, he said it was a reminder to him that she can now make money decisions without asking him, and it hurt.  </p><p>The two agreed that the husband would pay for half the cost of the sofa and that the wife would not do something like this again. She and her husband are still together, and their talk and positive action around the sofa purchase likely helped.  But I could not help but feel what’s wrong with buying a couch?  It was a purchase for the family to enjoy.  The wife did not spend her bonus to go drinking, partying or gambling.</p><p>But that’s married life for you.  For better or for worse, for richer or poorer, ‘til death do you part.</p><p>If you come from a double-income family, and have started to make more money than your spouse – be it your wife or your husband – there are ways to ensure financial harmony at home.  Consider these 5 tips to navigate your new prosperity.</p><div><strong>#1 Your worth is not tied to your paycheck</strong></div><p>The best place to start is to agree early on that who makes more isn’t more important than the one who makes less.  Your paycheck should not be a scorecard of value in your marriage.  You are equally important and equally responsible.  Don’t just focus on the salary, but consider other ways each of you can contribute, from child care to household management.  </p><div><strong>#2 Make money decisions together</strong></div><p>There’s a lesson to be learned in the couch story.  Regardless of the amount, talking about expenses and making money decisions as a couple can help keep marital peace and harmony.  Try to avoid phrases like “my money” vs. “your money.” Even with different incomes, financial decisions, especially major ones that involve savings, big purchases and investments, should be joint decisions. </p><div><strong>#3 Talk about money values, not just money</strong></div><p>Money arguments are usually about deeper things.  Maybe one is feeling insecure or left behind or does not like what he or she hears from how others talk (yes, sometimes the problem can be the people around you).  Have honest conversations about what money means to each of you and your shared goals, such as owning a home, traveling as a family, sending your kids to the best schools and retiring comfortably. When you’re aligned on the “why,” the “who earns more” matters much less.</p><div><strong>#4 Confess your money sins, if any</strong></div><p>A former boss used to tell me that he did not like surprises.  You can make a mess, but let him know right away, instead of him finding out later and from someone else.  The same thing is true between couples.  No one wants to be surprised with loans or credit card bills or failed investments.  If you have something to confess, do it now before you are found out.</p><div><strong>#5 Agree on guilt-free spending with personal allowances</strong></div><p>You are both adults and no one wants to have to report on their every spend.  Consider giving each person a no-questions-asked personal budget. He can buy his gadgets or go drinking with friends, and you can splurge on salon services and shoes. This prevents the higher earner from feeling used and the lower earner from feeling controlled or dependent.</p>

When your partner makes more money than you

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When your partner makes more money than you

Aneth Ng-Lim

Published January 19, 2026 05:28 PM PHT

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Updated January 19, 2026 07:31 PM PHT

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married life

personal finance

household budget

Aneth Ng-Lim

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