Less effort: What is 'silent quitting' in relationships? | ABS-CBN
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Less effort: What is 'silent quitting' in relationships?
Less effort: What is 'silent quitting' in relationships?
ABS-CBN News Intern,
Angel Chrizel Pabuayon
Published Feb 14, 2025 10:00 AM PHT
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Updated Feb 14, 2025 10:17 AM PHT

A couple sits along the breakwater on Manila Bay on Friday as storm clouds gather on the horizon. Jonathan Cellona, ABS-CBN News/FileMANILA — Are you feeling emotionally withdrawn from your partner, skipping date nights or communicating less? If yes, you might be "silent quitting" from your relationship.

Ezra Mane Capistrano experienced such feelings in her previous relationship, believing that her partner did not put in enough effort to keep their spark alive—a sentiment she eventually mirrored.
Ezra Mane Capistrano experienced such feelings in her previous relationship, believing that her partner did not put in enough effort to keep their spark alive—a sentiment she eventually mirrored.
“Ang napansin ko talaga is mas nagbibigay na ko ng oras para sa sarili ko like hindi na ko ‘yung maya’t maya nag-uupdate [sa kanya],” Capistrano, 23, told ABS-CBN News.
“Ang napansin ko talaga is mas nagbibigay na ko ng oras para sa sarili ko like hindi na ko ‘yung maya’t maya nag-uupdate [sa kanya],” Capistrano, 23, told ABS-CBN News.
(What I really noticed is that I now give more time to myself, like I no longer constantly give updates [to them].)
(What I really noticed is that I now give more time to myself, like I no longer constantly give updates [to them].)
Nowadays, silent quitting is prevalent among relationships, said Vanessa "Vee" Antonio, a professional matchmaker and dating coach.
Nowadays, silent quitting is prevalent among relationships, said Vanessa "Vee" Antonio, a professional matchmaker and dating coach.
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"It is happening when a person in a romantic relationship checks out in a relationship even if they’re still in a relationship with somebody," Antonio explained.
"It is happening when a person in a romantic relationship checks out in a relationship even if they’re still in a relationship with somebody," Antonio explained.
Antonio said silent quitting happens because "some people are scared of confrontation and rejection."
Antonio said silent quitting happens because "some people are scared of confrontation and rejection."
"They just wait and [do] not put an effort in a relationship because they know the less work they do for the relationship, it's not gonna work," Antonio said.
"They just wait and [do] not put an effort in a relationship because they know the less work they do for the relationship, it's not gonna work," Antonio said.
Some people avoid ending relationships to escape guilt or burden, Antonio added.
Some people avoid ending relationships to escape guilt or burden, Antonio added.
The dating coach also shared signs that a partner could be silently quitting the relationship. These include not initiating new activities, avoiding dates and lacking emotional connection.
The dating coach also shared signs that a partner could be silently quitting the relationship. These include not initiating new activities, avoiding dates and lacking emotional connection.
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"Kapag nalaman mong ikaw nalang lagi ‘yung may idea, gumagawa, ikaw nalang lagi ‘yung nag-aayaya, that means that your partner is already giving you 100 percent of the burden of making the relationship work," Antonio said.
"Kapag nalaman mong ikaw nalang lagi ‘yung may idea, gumagawa, ikaw nalang lagi ‘yung nag-aayaya, that means that your partner is already giving you 100 percent of the burden of making the relationship work," Antonio said.
(When you realize that you're always the one with the ideas, the one making the effort, the one initiating everything, that means your partner is already giving you 100 percent of the burden of making the relationship work.)
(When you realize that you're always the one with the ideas, the one making the effort, the one initiating everything, that means your partner is already giving you 100 percent of the burden of making the relationship work.)
To address silent quitting, Antonio suggested that couples communicate if they want to continue the relationship.
To address silent quitting, Antonio suggested that couples communicate if they want to continue the relationship.
"Have that conversation, but the requirement is someone needs to be courageous enough to bring it up," she said.
"Have that conversation, but the requirement is someone needs to be courageous enough to bring it up," she said.
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