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Ruffa Gutierrez on raising two daughters and finding love again as a single mom

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Liezel dela Cruz

Age is just a number. At 50, Ruffa Gutierrez is more radiant and in love than ever. &quot;We are not the same people we were at 16 or in our 20s. I&#x27;ve changed dramatically,&quot; shares the actress, who recently portrayed Gina Tan in the DonBelle series &quot;<a href="https://ent.abs-cbn.com/cantbuymelove" target="_blank">Can’t Buy Me Love</a>.&quot; One significant factor in this transformation is motherhood. Yet, some things remain unchanged, like her unwavering support for her children. Ruffa continues to uplift her daughters, Lorin and Venice, telling them they are the most beautiful women in the world. This encouragement is especially vital now that they are young adults. Her eldest, Lorin, admits that she and her sister felt insecure growing up, being of mixed race and the daughters of a beauty queen. But their mother’s words have always been a source of confidence for them.When asked if she wants her kids to follow in her footsteps as a beauty queen, the former Miss World 1993 Second Princess reflected on the joy she experienced during her own pageant days. However, she acknowledged that times have changed. With the intense scrutiny of social media, Ruffa feels that the crown may no longer be worth the harsh criticism it invites.While she will support and cheer them on if they choose to step onto the stage, Lorin and Venice currently have no interest in pursuing that path. They recognize that their mother&#x27;s reign as a beauty queen is already a story on its own – a unique and beautiful one. Many chapters of Ruffa&#x27;s life story revolve around being a single mom, and it’s an empowering narrative. In an interview with Karen Davila, Ruffa and her daughters shared their journey of coming to terms with life as a trio. Lorin recalls being just seven years old when she saw a showbiz magazine featuring her parents, Ruffa and Turkish businessman Yilmaz Bektas, on the cover. Curious, she flipped through the pages, only to find an unexpected, detailed account of her parents’ tragic relationship—from the fairytale wedding to their eventual separation.When her annulment with Yilmaz was granted, Ruffa sat down with her daughters to explain the situation. The girls vividly remember the moment—they were out of town at a beach resort, relaxing in a jacuzzi. Ruffa carefully explained, in a way that their young minds could understand, that she and their father had officially parted ways. Lorin and Venice never questioned the reasons behind the separation because their mom filled the void in their lives so completely that they never felt anything was missing. Ruffa seldom spoke about her ex-husband, particularly the ugly parts, as she didn&#x27;t want her children to harbor hatred toward Yilmaz. Instead, she taught them acceptance and forgiveness, despite the domestic violence and abuse she endured. Remarkably, just two years ago, the girls reunited with their father.Through this lesson of forgiveness, Lorin and Venice have become even more whole. &quot;It never felt like an empty home. We were always surrounded by so much love. She wasn&#x27;t our typical father figure, but we had our lolo, and we had her mom,&quot; Lorin shared, bringing Ruffa to tears. However, the most painful part of her parents not being together has always been the lingering feeling in her heart that her mom also deserves a happy ending. “It’s not about me and Venice because we’re so fine with just our mom. I never needed a dad. I just want her to have the love of her life,” Lorin added. “I want her to be happy, and whatever that looks like for her... I just want her to be happy.”With this heartfelt wish, the girls have given their blessing to Ruffa’s relationship with actor-politician Herbert Bautista. Their rumored romance has been circulating for some time, but now Ruffa feels it&#x27;s the perfect moment to confirm it.They reconnected on the set of the KathNiel rom-com series “The House Arrest Of Us.” As their feelings blossomed, they understood they were no longer teenagers, and there would be children involved in their romance. Herbert ensured everyone felt at ease, so on their first date, he made a point to include Ruffa’s daughters.Lorin and Venice delighted in sharing adorable revelations about their mother&#x27;s demeanor when in love and feeling ‘kilig’. For them, a telltale sign of Herbert&#x27;s positive influence was how he motivated Ruffa to resume her college studies, which she completed during the pandemic. Following her graduation, he further encouraged her to pursue a master’s degree, which she is currently engaged in.Wherever this serious relationship may lead, whether to marriage or beyond, Ruffa and her daughters have undoubtedly gained wisdom from their past. Lorin would even casually discuss topics such as divorce, prenuptial agreements, and legal protections for women, highlighting their awareness of safeguarding women against challenging situations.“Learn from my mistakes,&quot; Ruffa advises Lorin and Venice, who aspire to careers in land development and entrepreneurship, respectively. “There are many fishes in the sea. Focus on your career. What’s important is you take care of yourself.” “I make them realize that it’s best to be empowered on their own as an individual and as a woman,” Ruffa sums up the lessons she imparts to her daughters, which also serves as a valuable insight for women everywhere.

Ruffa Gutierrez opens up about relationship with Herbert Bautista, and teaching her daughters forgiveness