Dannyka Manangan

Jona Viray on experiencing abuse from her father: 'I feel strong enough to share my journey'

Article (news)

Nikka Avegail Sabio

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<div><em>Content Warning: The following article contains discussions on abuse.</em><em></em><em></em></div><p> Kapamilya singer Jona Viray has opened up about a traumatic experience she went through as a child, revealing that she was sexually abused by her father at the age of 10.</p><p>In an emotional interview on Toni Talks, Jona said it was her first time speaking publicly about a dark chapter in her life, one she had long avoided sharing.</p><p>“Noong bata ako, at 10 years old, naging biktima ako ng molestiya from my father. After ng pangyayari na umalis yung nanay namin. That time, hindi ko alam kung paano magrereact kasi hindi ko alam ang mga iyon,” Jona shared.</p><div> </div><div><strong></strong></div><iframe class="instagram-media instagram-media-rendered" id="instagram-embed-3" src="https://www.instagram.com/p/DPGsbNrgboK/embed/?cr=1&amp;v=14&amp;wp=540&amp;rd=https%3A%2F%2Fod2-workbench-web.abs-cbn.com&amp;rp=%2F#%7B%22ci%22%3A3%2C%22os%22%3A167608.90000000224%2C%22ls%22%3A103532.90000000224%2C%22le%22%3A103868.70000000298%7D" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="" frameBorder="0" height="901" data-instgrm-payload-id="instagram-media-payload-3" scrolling="no" style="background:white;max-width:540px;width:calc(100% - 2px);border-radius:3px;border:1px solid rgb(219, 219, 219);box-shadow:none;display:block;margin:0px 0px 12px;min-width:326px;padding:0px"></iframe><script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script><div><strong></strong></div><div><br/></div><div><strong> </strong></div><p>Jona shared that she was confused and didn’t fully understand what was happening at the time.</p><p> “Sa pagkakaalala ko daytime nangyari iyon. Pinapasok ako sa kwarto and doon na nagsimula yung mga horrific na nangyari. At that time, frozen lang ako kasi hindi ko alam. Tama ba ito?” she recalled. “Even after mangyari mga bagay na iyon, all those years growing up, magkasama pa rin kami ng papa ko. After noon, as if walang nangyari. Okay pa rin kami.</p><p> “It happened more than once. Noong year lang na iyon nangyari, after that hindi na nasundan. Unconsciously, kakausapin mo yung sarili na wala ka nang kwenta kasi nga naabuso ka na you are not pure anymore, wala ka nang value. Sobrang baba na ng self-esteem ko,” she added.</p><p> After the abuse, Jona said she chose to keep everything to herself for many years, only realizing later how deeply traumatic the experience had been.</p><p> “Walang nakakaalam sa mga kapatid ko. Hindi ko sinabi sa kanila kasi di ko alam paano nila marereceive. Walang nakakaalam other than noong manager ko ngayon,” Jona shared.</p><p> As she grew older, Jona began to reflect on her past and understand what she had gone through.</p><p> “Sobrang late bloomer ako. Lahat ng pangit na nangyari from the past may tendency ako na kalimutan kasi masakit alalahanin kaya lang kapag dumadating na mga moments na nagkakaroon ka na ng deeper knowledge in life, na mga hindi dapat gawin sa mga babae, doon ko narealize na lahat ng napagdaanan ko as a child, sobrang unimaginable,” she emotionally said.</p><div> </div><div><strong></strong><iframe width="681" height="383" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hssUvqByhus" title="The Childhood Secret Jona Tried To Hide For Many Years | Toni Talks" frameBorder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe><strong></strong></div><div><strong> </strong></div><p>Jona admitted that the trauma affected her self-worth and how she related to others as she grew up.</p><p> “After those things happened from my childhood, unconsciously, pagdating ko as a young woman, para nagseseek ka na ng validations sa ibang tao na ang gusto mo na lang naman to feel loved, to feel secure, to be worthy and to be adored kasi ayon pala yung natake away sa’yo noong bata pa,” Jona said.</p><p> She shared that, as a teenager, she sometimes lost her way in her search for affection and validation.</p><p> “May mga times na noong teenager ako, naliligaw ng landas kasi naghahanap ako ng validation kasi nga ayon yung wala sa bahay,” she expressed.</p><div> </div><div><strong></strong></div><iframe class="instagram-media instagram-media-rendered" id="instagram-embed-4" src="https://www.instagram.com/p/DLZ5-2fvoEk/embed/?cr=1&amp;v=14&amp;wp=540&amp;rd=https%3A%2F%2Fod2-workbench-web.abs-cbn.com&amp;rp=%2F#%7B%22ci%22%3A4%2C%22os%22%3A168881.20000000298%2C%22ls%22%3A103532.90000000224%2C%22le%22%3A103868.70000000298%7D" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="" frameBorder="0" height="901" data-instgrm-payload-id="instagram-media-payload-4" scrolling="no" style="background:white;max-width:540px;width:calc(100% - 2px);border-radius:3px;border:1px solid rgb(219, 219, 219);box-shadow:none;display:block;margin:0px 0px 12px;min-width:326px;padding:0px"></iframe><script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script><div><strong></strong></div><div><br/></div><div><strong> </strong></div><p>The experience also made her fearful of opening herself up to romantic relationships. </p><p>“For how many years, single ako kasi masyado na ako natatakot na magtiwala na ulit,” she explained. “Hindi naiintindihan ng mga tao kung saan nangagling bakit kailangan ko maging choosy. Ayaw ko maulit na magkaroon ng pagiging broken family or kaya naman aabusuhin ako. If papasok man ako sa relationship, I want it as a whole.”</p><p> Despite everything she went through, Jona said she has found healing through faith and forgiveness.</p><p> “Ipinagdasal ko iyong mga nangyari sa akin. Sabi ko, ‘Lord, sinusurrender ko lahat ng mga nangyari sa akin. Kayo na po bahala sa akin. Bigyan Niyo po ako ng comfort, ng courage. Kayo po ang lumikha sa akin, so please make me whole again.’ Nagsimula yung journey ng healing ko noong time na nagpass away yung papa namin,” she remarked.</p><p> As the eldest daughter and breadwinner, Jona still cared for her father while he was sick, saying:  “Noong time na nagkakasakit na siya, as the eldest daughter and breadwinner, ako nagalaga sa kaniya financially and other. Noong mga panahon na iyon nandoon pa rin yung pagmamahal ko sa father ko. Gusto ko maging ideal yung pagsasama namin.”</p><p> Before her father passed away, Jona received a message from him that brought her closure.</p><p> “A few weeks before he passed away. Nagtext siya sa akin na: ‘Anak, patawarin mo ako sa lahat ng mga nagawa kong pagkakamali. Mahal na mahal ko kayo.’ Ayon lang pero kahit simple words like that, ayon nagcontribute ng healing sa akin. Pakiramdam ko kahit hindi na nga siya manghingi ng tawad, kaya ko siyang patawarin sa lahat ng nangyari sa pamilya namin,” she said.</p><div> </div><div><strong></strong></div><div><iframe class="instagram-media instagram-media-rendered" id="instagram-embed-0" src="https://www.instagram.com/p/CtooXidh1VB/embed/?cr=1&amp;v=14&amp;wp=540&amp;rd=https%3A%2F%2Fod2-workbench-web.abs-cbn.com&amp;rp=%2F#%7B%22ci%22%3A0%2C%22os%22%3A105312.60000000149%2C%22ls%22%3A103532.90000000224%2C%22le%22%3A103868.70000000298%7D" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="" frameBorder="0" height="746" data-instgrm-payload-id="instagram-media-payload-0" scrolling="no" style="background:white;max-width:540px;width:calc(100% - 2px);border-radius:3px;border:1px solid rgb(219, 219, 219);box-shadow:none;display:block;margin:0px 0px 12px;min-width:326px;padding:0px"></iframe></div><script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script><div><strong></strong></div><div><br/></div><div><strong> </strong></div><p>The singer said that forgiveness lifted a heavy weight off her. “Yung pakiramdam ko noon, mas narelieve ako. Yung tinik sa buong pagkatao ko, parang nahugot. Looking forward pa nga ako na kapag gumaling siya, na ,makapag-out of country kami lahat. Hindi na rin natuloy iyon kasi he passed away.”</p><p> “Grace of God na lang din siguro (kaya nakapagpatawad ako),” she expressed.</p><p>With her experience, Jona shared: &quot;Noong early stage ng singing career ko, ang binabansag sa akin ay Soul Princess kasi maemosyonal kumanta pero after that stage binansagan na ako na Fearless Diva kasi napakafearless kumanta on stage. Pero ngayon, narealize ko na may purpose pala bakit tinawag ako na fearless.&quot;</p><p>She added, &quot;Now, I feel fearless and I feel strong enough to share my journey from the past na for a long time, tinago ko na even sa sarili ko dineny ko rin, na tinago ko under the rug kasi sa sobrang sakit ng pangyayari na iyon, ayaw ko na maalala na naging part pala iyon ng buong buhay ko.&quot;</p>