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When ‘harmless’ chats become emotional cheating, according to Maricar Reyes

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<blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bfm5Iy_hRq-/" data-instgrm-version="8" style="background:#FFF;border:0;border-radius:3px;box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15);margin:1px;max-width:658px;padding:0;width:calc(100% - 2px)"><div style="padding:8px"><div style="background:#F8F8F8;line-height:0;margin-top:40px;padding:50.0% 0;text-align:center;width:100%"><div style="background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAABGdBTUEAALGPC/xhBQAAAAFzUkdCAK7OHOkAAAAMUExURczMzPf399fX1+bm5mzY9AMAAADiSURBVDjLvZXbEsMgCES5/P8/t9FuRVCRmU73JWlzosgSIIZURCjo/ad+EQJJB4Hv8BFt+IDpQoCx1wjOSBFhh2XssxEIYn3ulI/6MNReE07UIWJEv8UEOWDS88LY97kqyTliJKKtuYBbruAyVh5wOHiXmpi5we58Ek028czwyuQdLKPG1Bkb4NnM+VeAnfHqn1k4+GPT6uGQcvu2h2OVuIf/gWUFyy8OWEpdyZSa3aVCqpVoVvzZZ2VTnn2wU8qzVjDDetO90GSy9mVLqtgYSy231MxrY6I2gGqjrTY0L8fxCxfCBbhWrsYYAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC);display:block;height:44px;margin:0 auto -44px;position:relative;top:-22px;width:44px"> </div></div><div style="margin:8px 0 0 0;padding:0 4px"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bfm5Iy_hRq-/" style="color:#000;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-style:normal;font-weight:normal;line-height:17px;text-decoration:none;word-wrap:break-word" target="_blank">Rare times when we are in #ASAP together ❤ During our &quot;weird friendship&quot; days @richardpoonph would visit me in my dressing room whenever he&#x27;d hear i was a guest on ASAP. Nakakainis kasi akala ko ba &quot;wala na&quot; kami?! Paano &#x27;ko makaka move on nito 😂😂😂?! 👉👉Today we share the same dressing room whenever i guest on ASAP ❤❤❤ #trivia #ASAPtheFEBoulusShow #thePoons</a></div><p style="color:#c9c8cd;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:17px;margin-bottom:0;margin-top:8px;overflow:hidden;padding:8px 0 7px;text-align:center;text-overflow:ellipsis;white-space:nowrap">A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/maricareyespoon/" style="color:#c9c8cd;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-style:normal;font-weight:normal;line-height:17px" target="_blank"> Maricar Reyes-Poon</a> (@maricareyespoon) on <time dateTime="2018-02-25T05:19:53+00:00" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:17px">Feb 24, 2018 at 9:19pm PST</time></p></div></blockquote><div><script async="" defer="" src="https://www.instagram.com/embed.js" type="text/javascript"></script></div><p>Years before her marriage with Richard Poon, Maricar Reyes made a new acquaintance, &quot;Steve,&quot; through a common friend, and enjoyed having a conversation with him at a party, at a time when she had a troubled but still ongoing relationship.</p><p>&quot;Days after,&quot; the actress recalled in a <a href="https://www.relationshipmatters.ph/blog/emotional-cheating-harmless-or-not/">blog post</a> this week, &quot;we exchanged &#x27;harmless&#x27; messages.&quot;</p><p>Their chat, according to Reyes, started with the likes of: &quot;Stuck in traffic! What u doing?&quot;, &quot;Hey I just passed by your school!&quot;, &quot;Know any good restos in QC?&quot;, &quot;Bored! Musta???&quot;</p><blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bd5TPQZF1Lv/" data-instgrm-version="8" style="background:#FFF;border:0;border-radius:3px;box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15);margin:1px;max-width:658px;padding:0;width:calc(100% - 2px)"><div style="padding:8px"><div style="background:#F8F8F8;line-height:0;margin-top:40px;padding:50.0% 0;text-align:center;width:100%"><div style="background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAABGdBTUEAALGPC/xhBQAAAAFzUkdCAK7OHOkAAAAMUExURczMzPf399fX1+bm5mzY9AMAAADiSURBVDjLvZXbEsMgCES5/P8/t9FuRVCRmU73JWlzosgSIIZURCjo/ad+EQJJB4Hv8BFt+IDpQoCx1wjOSBFhh2XssxEIYn3ulI/6MNReE07UIWJEv8UEOWDS88LY97kqyTliJKKtuYBbruAyVh5wOHiXmpi5we58Ek028czwyuQdLKPG1Bkb4NnM+VeAnfHqn1k4+GPT6uGQcvu2h2OVuIf/gWUFyy8OWEpdyZSa3aVCqpVoVvzZZ2VTnn2wU8qzVjDDetO90GSy9mVLqtgYSy231MxrY6I2gGqjrTY0L8fxCxfCBbhWrsYYAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC);display:block;height:44px;margin:0 auto -44px;position:relative;top:-22px;width:44px"> </div></div><p style="color:#c9c8cd;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:17px;margin-bottom:0;margin-top:8px;overflow:hidden;padding:8px 0 7px;text-align:center;text-overflow:ellipsis;white-space:nowrap"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bd5TPQZF1Lv/" style="color:#c9c8cd;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-style:normal;font-weight:normal;line-height:17px;text-decoration:none" target="_blank">A post shared by Maricar Reyes-Poon (@maricareyespoon)</a> on <time dateTime="2018-01-13T15:51:30+00:00" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:17px">Jan 13, 2018 at 7:51am PST</time></p></div></blockquote><div><script async="" defer="" src="https://www.instagram.com/embed.js" type="text/javascript"></script></div><p>&quot;I didn&#x27;t want to admit it back then, but Steve&#x27;s messages weren&#x27;t ordinary to me,&quot; Reyes wrote. &quot;May konting kilig, so I felt guilty. I&#x27;d make myself feel better by thinking, &#x27;I&#x27;m not doing anything wrong. Steve is just a friend.&#x27; &quot;</p><p>Reyes recounted that she kept her &quot;harmless&quot; chats with Steve from her boyfriend, as him knowing would only trigger a &quot;fight over nothing.&quot; At the time, she convinced herself that Steve was &quot;just a friend,&quot; using it as an excuse not to tell her boyfriend about the new acquaintance.</p><p>Her other excuse: &quot;I&#x27;m just getting a guy&#x27;s perspective on my relationship problems.&quot;</p><blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BaJGLx5lKX_/" data-instgrm-version="8" style="background:#FFF;border:0;border-radius:3px;box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15);margin:1px;max-width:658px;padding:0;width:calc(100% - 2px)"><div style="padding:8px"><div style="background:#F8F8F8;line-height:0;margin-top:40px;padding:57.870370370370374% 0;text-align:center;width:100%"><div style="background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAABGdBTUEAALGPC/xhBQAAAAFzUkdCAK7OHOkAAAAMUExURczMzPf399fX1+bm5mzY9AMAAADiSURBVDjLvZXbEsMgCES5/P8/t9FuRVCRmU73JWlzosgSIIZURCjo/ad+EQJJB4Hv8BFt+IDpQoCx1wjOSBFhh2XssxEIYn3ulI/6MNReE07UIWJEv8UEOWDS88LY97kqyTliJKKtuYBbruAyVh5wOHiXmpi5we58Ek028czwyuQdLKPG1Bkb4NnM+VeAnfHqn1k4+GPT6uGQcvu2h2OVuIf/gWUFyy8OWEpdyZSa3aVCqpVoVvzZZ2VTnn2wU8qzVjDDetO90GSy9mVLqtgYSy231MxrY6I2gGqjrTY0L8fxCxfCBbhWrsYYAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC);display:block;height:44px;margin:0 auto -44px;position:relative;top:-22px;width:44px"> </div></div><p style="color:#c9c8cd;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:17px;margin-bottom:0;margin-top:8px;overflow:hidden;padding:8px 0 7px;text-align:center;text-overflow:ellipsis;white-space:nowrap"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BaJGLx5lKX_/" style="color:#c9c8cd;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-style:normal;font-weight:normal;line-height:17px;text-decoration:none" target="_blank">A post shared by Maricar Reyes-Poon (@maricareyespoon)</a> on <time dateTime="2017-10-12T08:59:42+00:00" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:17px">Oct 12, 2017 at 1:59am PDT</time></p></div></blockquote><div><script async="" defer="" src="https://www.instagram.com/embed.js" type="text/javascript"></script></div><p>With the benefit of hindsight, Reyes wrote she sees now that her conversations with Steve did nothing to help her relationship, as she began to &quot;look forward to his messages more than my boyfriend&#x27;s.&quot;</p><p>She explained: &quot;I was becoming emotionally tangled with Steve. Looking back, this wasn&#x27;t as harmless as I thought. . . Would I be OK, if my boyfriend was exchanging messages with a girl that he had some &#x27;kilig&#x27; for? It&#x27;s absolutely NOT OK. I would feel uncomfortable, or even betrayed. So it was unfair of me to do it to him.&quot;</p><p>Reyes, who got married to Poon in June 2013, shared the personal account as part of her &quot;Relationship Matters&quot; blog, which she shares with the Kapamilya crooner.</p><blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BicuQf5BIAQ/" data-instgrm-version="8" style="background:#FFF;border:0;border-radius:3px;box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15);margin:1px;max-width:658px;padding:0;width:calc(100% - 2px)"><div style="padding:8px"><div style="background:#F8F8F8;line-height:0;margin-top:40px;padding:50.0% 0;text-align:center;width:100%"><div style="background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAABGdBTUEAALGPC/xhBQAAAAFzUkdCAK7OHOkAAAAMUExURczMzPf399fX1+bm5mzY9AMAAADiSURBVDjLvZXbEsMgCES5/P8/t9FuRVCRmU73JWlzosgSIIZURCjo/ad+EQJJB4Hv8BFt+IDpQoCx1wjOSBFhh2XssxEIYn3ulI/6MNReE07UIWJEv8UEOWDS88LY97kqyTliJKKtuYBbruAyVh5wOHiXmpi5we58Ek028czwyuQdLKPG1Bkb4NnM+VeAnfHqn1k4+GPT6uGQcvu2h2OVuIf/gWUFyy8OWEpdyZSa3aVCqpVoVvzZZ2VTnn2wU8qzVjDDetO90GSy9mVLqtgYSy231MxrY6I2gGqjrTY0L8fxCxfCBbhWrsYYAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC);display:block;height:44px;margin:0 auto -44px;position:relative;top:-22px;width:44px"> </div></div><div style="margin:8px 0 0 0;padding:0 4px"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BicuQf5BIAQ/" style="color:#000;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-style:normal;font-weight:normal;line-height:17px;text-decoration:none;word-wrap:break-word" target="_blank">Have you ever asked, &quot;Will marriage (negatively) affect my career?&quot; Does commitment limit freedom? Read our thoughts on this and tell us your experiences too! Full blog in IG highlights 👍❤ #LoveOrCareer</a></div><p style="color:#c9c8cd;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:17px;margin-bottom:0;margin-top:8px;overflow:hidden;padding:8px 0 7px;text-align:center;text-overflow:ellipsis;white-space:nowrap">A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/maricareyespoon/" style="color:#c9c8cd;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-style:normal;font-weight:normal;line-height:17px" target="_blank"> Maricar Reyes-Poon</a> (@maricareyespoon) on <time dateTime="2018-05-06T20:06:35+00:00" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:17px">May 6, 2018 at 1:06pm PDT</time></p></div></blockquote><div><script async="" defer="" src="https://www.instagram.com/embed.js" type="text/javascript"></script></div><p>Sharing how the belated realization helps her marriage with Poon now, Reyes said it &quot;reminds Richard and I of how vulnerable we are to feel-good emotions like kilig. It pushed us to make excuses for what we won&#x27;t admit in our hearts to be wrong or unfair —all in the name of &#x27;love.&#x27;&quot;</p><p>This same topic, the couple has apparently already tackled with their relationship mentors, who advised them to &quot;guard each other against increasing levels of emotional attachment to another person.&quot;</p><p>According to Reyes, this is how they&#x27;ve addressed it: &quot;[We] tell each other in detail who we are attracted to. Admitting the truth makes the kilig emotions less powerful. Hiding it from each other makes them stronger!&quot;</p><blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BhWtbmVhrG0/" data-instgrm-version="8" style="background:#FFF;border:0;border-radius:3px;box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15);margin:1px;max-width:658px;padding:0;width:calc(100% - 2px)"><div style="padding:8px"><div style="background:#F8F8F8;line-height:0;margin-top:40px;padding:35.0% 0;text-align:center;width:100%"><div style="background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAABGdBTUEAALGPC/xhBQAAAAFzUkdCAK7OHOkAAAAMUExURczMzPf399fX1+bm5mzY9AMAAADiSURBVDjLvZXbEsMgCES5/P8/t9FuRVCRmU73JWlzosgSIIZURCjo/ad+EQJJB4Hv8BFt+IDpQoCx1wjOSBFhh2XssxEIYn3ulI/6MNReE07UIWJEv8UEOWDS88LY97kqyTliJKKtuYBbruAyVh5wOHiXmpi5we58Ek028czwyuQdLKPG1Bkb4NnM+VeAnfHqn1k4+GPT6uGQcvu2h2OVuIf/gWUFyy8OWEpdyZSa3aVCqpVoVvzZZ2VTnn2wU8qzVjDDetO90GSy9mVLqtgYSy231MxrY6I2gGqjrTY0L8fxCxfCBbhWrsYYAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC);display:block;height:44px;margin:0 auto -44px;position:relative;top:-22px;width:44px"> </div></div><div style="margin:8px 0 0 0;padding:0 4px"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BhWtbmVhrG0/" style="color:#000;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-style:normal;font-weight:normal;line-height:17px;text-decoration:none;word-wrap:break-word" target="_blank">Today @richardpoonph and I spent our &quot;day off&quot; from work looking back at our old vids and photos like this one --taken during our March 2015 trip to tokyo. . Richard also told me about his 1st US tour with the sessionistas. How amazing it was to experience a country so different from the Phils. . I also recalled a touching time when my friends came over with a fun boardgame and snacks to cheer me up because i was so depressed. . These are the moments that we need to write down bec we so easily forget how God has been SO good to us. . What can you look back on and be thankful for? ❤ #RelationshipMatters #Writing #Memories</a></div><p style="color:#c9c8cd;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:17px;margin-bottom:0;margin-top:8px;overflow:hidden;padding:8px 0 7px;text-align:center;text-overflow:ellipsis;white-space:nowrap">A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/maricareyespoon/" style="color:#c9c8cd;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-style:normal;font-weight:normal;line-height:17px" target="_blank"> Maricar Reyes-Poon</a> (@maricareyespoon) on <time dateTime="2018-04-09T15:32:32+00:00" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:17px">Apr 9, 2018 at 8:32am PDT</time></p></div></blockquote><div><script async="" defer="" src="https://www.instagram.com/embed.js" type="text/javascript"></script></div><p>She added: &quot;We also help each other keep our distance, and make sure we don’t have long conversations alone with the &#x27;attractive&#x27; person. Richard and I realize that fighting for our relationship is a team effort!&quot;</p><p>Quoting their mentor, Maricar ended: &quot;People don’t start out planning to cheat. Laging hindi ‘yan sinasadya. But it usually starts with a harmless message.&quot;</p><p>This isn&#x27;t the first time Reyes opened up about her marriage with Poon. The two are actually co-authors of &quot;10 Things We Fight About,&quot; a book about their common conflicts and how they resolve them and turn them into &quot;an opportunity to become even closer.&quot;</p><blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BiHrTrfBWgd/" data-instgrm-version="8" style="background:#FFF;border:0;border-radius:3px;box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15);margin:1px;max-width:658px;padding:0;width:calc(100% - 2px)"><div style="padding:8px"><div style="background:#F8F8F8;line-height:0;margin-top:40px;padding:50.0% 0;text-align:center;width:100%"><div style="background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAABGdBTUEAALGPC/xhBQAAAAFzUkdCAK7OHOkAAAAMUExURczMzPf399fX1+bm5mzY9AMAAADiSURBVDjLvZXbEsMgCES5/P8/t9FuRVCRmU73JWlzosgSIIZURCjo/ad+EQJJB4Hv8BFt+IDpQoCx1wjOSBFhh2XssxEIYn3ulI/6MNReE07UIWJEv8UEOWDS88LY97kqyTliJKKtuYBbruAyVh5wOHiXmpi5we58Ek028czwyuQdLKPG1Bkb4NnM+VeAnfHqn1k4+GPT6uGQcvu2h2OVuIf/gWUFyy8OWEpdyZSa3aVCqpVoVvzZZ2VTnn2wU8qzVjDDetO90GSy9mVLqtgYSy231MxrY6I2gGqjrTY0L8fxCxfCBbhWrsYYAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC);display:block;height:44px;margin:0 auto -44px;position:relative;top:-22px;width:44px"> </div></div><div style="margin:8px 0 0 0;padding:0 4px"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BiHrTrfBWgd/" style="color:#000;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-style:normal;font-weight:normal;line-height:17px;text-decoration:none;word-wrap:break-word" target="_blank">Signed copies on the way! Hope you like the little notes we wrote inside.Thank you to everyone who has ordered #10ThingsWeFightAbout book ❤ Happy to see singles get copies too. 😊Please visit our site if you want to get in touch with us. (LINK IN BIO ❤)</a></div><p style="color:#c9c8cd;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:17px;margin-bottom:0;margin-top:8px;overflow:hidden;padding:8px 0 7px;text-align:center;text-overflow:ellipsis;white-space:nowrap">A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/maricareyespoon/" style="color:#c9c8cd;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-style:normal;font-weight:normal;line-height:17px" target="_blank"> Maricar Reyes-Poon</a> (@maricareyespoon) on <time dateTime="2018-04-28T15:56:45+00:00" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:17px">Apr 28, 2018 at 8:56am PDT</time></p></div></blockquote><div><script async="" defer="" src="https://www.instagram.com/embed.js" type="text/javascript"></script></div>

<p>Years before her marriage with Richard Poon, Maricar Reyes made a new acquaintance, "Steve," through a common friend, and enjoyed having a conversation with him at a party, at a time when she had a troubled but still ongoing relationship.</p>

Years before her marriage with Richard Poon, Maricar Reyes made a new acquaintance, "Steve," through a common friend, and enjoyed having a conversation with him at a party, at a time when she had a troubled but still ongoing relationship.