Father's unwavering love: Pa recalls 5-year care of son with multiple sclerosis

Victoriano Calledo Jr., right, with his son Kerwin. Photo courtesy of Victoriano Calledo Jr.  

A father's job is not simple. Though some may ignore or undervalue it, a father can also be a hero. As with Victoriano Calledo Jr. and his unending love for his son, let's honor the sacrifice and hard work a father can do for his family. 

Victoriano, a 62-year-old father of four from Cebu, dedicated the previous five years to taking care of his eldest son, Kerwin, who had multiple sclerosis.

In 2016, Kerwin was employed as a private school teacher. It was going fine until his initial seizure occurred in 2018. Upon his initial hospitalization, he was diagnosed with a seizure disorder. However, upon his subsequent admission to the hospital due to severe head pain, it was discovered that he had multiple sclerosis in the brain. 

There were instances in which he forgot things and experienced lack of sleep due to his dual responsibilities as a teacher and choir member at the church. The school permitted him to cease his employment due to his condition.

Approximately 2020 marked the onset of Kerwin's difficulties. His movements were no longer normal; it was like he was not on his own. 

Due to financial constraints, Kerwin's family let him stay in the residence. Victoriano offered to take care of his son. 

Victoriano's biggest daily challenge was lifting him to feed and bathe Kerwin. Sometimes, he would just find himself crying at their situation. 

Victoriano remembered the times he turned down invitations to spend all of his time with Kerwin since his other children were too busy working and studying to take care of Kerwin. 

Regarding finances in caring for Kerwin, some parents at the private school have made monthly donations for Kerwin's necessities, such as milk, oatmeal, and diapers.

Aside from that, Victoriano's relatives would also give monetary assistance for Kerwin's needs. 

Kerwin left to his father one thing: Victoriano was encouraged to attend church because Kerwin was devout.

Victoriano is particularly upset as Kerwin was a perfectly healthy child, and they had no idea it would happen to him.

In the whole duration of 5 years of caring for Kerwin, he would occasionally feel dizzy and exhausted from everything, but he would just brush it off.

Victoriano gets strength by praying to God to give him more strength to overcome all his trials. 

“Nagpe-pray ako kay Lord na sana bigyan niya ako ng lakas para maka-survive sa lahat ng pagsubok na ibigay niya sa akin at para maalagaan ang anak kong si Kerwin na may sakit,” he said.

Victoriano took care of himself by taking vitamins and eating healthy foods.

”Sa awa ng Diyos, malakas pa rin naman ako,” he added.

Victoriano, being a father, will never leave his children. In any situation, he chooses to help them and reciprocate the love they give him as their father. 

Last February 20, Kerwin said his last goodbye. But Victoriano will never forget the happy moments with his son. At school parties, Kerwin brings him along, and when he shops for him at the malls for his clothing and shoes.

”Si Kerwin noong buhay pa siya mahal na mahal niya talaga ako. Hindi niya ako pinabayaan at lagi niya akong naaalala nung healthy pa siya,” Victoriano said. 

Until now, the loss of Kerwin is still fresh for Victoriano, and he has not been able to move on completely. Every night, he still dreams about it, but at the end of the day, he tries to accept that human life has an end and we all have limits. Little by little, he is recovering. 

When asked what Victoriano's advice was to other parents who are in a similar situation, he said, “Ang anak natin ay anak. Hindi dapat natin ito pabayaan kahit anong mangyari. Katulad ng nangyari sa anak ko na hindi ko inasahan sa kanyang mangyayari. Mahalin natin at huwag silang pabayaan.”

For Victoriano's fellow fathers, he wishes them all a Happy Father's Day. He advises that vices should only be in moderation. Especially as they get older, there are times when they can't expect to feel sick, so take good care of yourself, especially when medicines are so expensive today. 

Victoriano admits that over the five years he has looked after Kerwin, there have been moments when he has wanted to give up already. He also questions why this happened to them, but as Kerwin's father, he endured everything because he loved him. 

At present, his goals are to be physically well, spend much time with his grandchildren, and help his other children.

Victoriano continues to pray that Kerwin is happy now in heaven and that he no longer feels pain.