Maritess De Ocampo

Monday Check-In: When your closet finally feels like you

Article (news)

Zarah R. Hernaez

<div><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1788706755340Thumbnail Sept 7 Monday check in.jpg" class="fr-fic fr-dib" style="width: 730px;"></div><p>Nothing makes us step out the door of our homes with greater confidence than a good outfit. It may seem like a small thing, this daily act of choosing what to wear, but clothes often become the first layer of support we give ourselves before facing the world. We dress for the commute to work, school, tasks, interactions, relationships, and communities waiting for us in a day. For some, selecting clothes is thoughtful, time consuming, and strategic. For others, it is guided by what is easy, convenient, and comfortable. There is really no right way to choose what feels like the best outfit for the day, but what we wear can affect how we carry ourselves through an already stressful world. Regardless of the criteria behind our choices, a personal style eventually emerges. What some people do not realize, however, is that their personal style may not always be as personal or authentic as they think.</p><div><iframe class="instagram-media instagram-media-rendered" id="instagram-embed-6" src="https://www.instagram.com/p/DT2k-MajTMe/embed/?cr=1&v=14&wp=648&rd=https%3A%2F%2Fod2-workbench-web.abs-cbn.com&rp=%2F#%7B%22ci%22%3A6%2C%22os%22%3A1482718.900000006%7D" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="true" frameborder="0" height="882" data-instgrm-payload-id="instagram-media-payload-6" scrolling="no" style="background: white; max-width: 540px; width: calc(100% - 2px); border-radius: 3px; border: 1px solid rgb(219, 219, 219); box-shadow: none; display: block; margin: 0px 0px 12px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0px;"></iframe></div><script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script><p>We are continuously bombarded by external influence, especially when it comes to fashion, beauty, style, and art. Every day, we see what is new, trending, viral, and what the most popular influencer or celebrity is selling to us. We may step out feeling happy in what we think is the best outfit because we saw it on a viral Instagram feed or noticed everyone wearing it on TikTok. Yet sometimes, the magic and confidence that the jeans, makeup, dress, or shoes were supposed to bring simply do not happen. So we continue seeking that confidence as we add more items to our carts and follow every trend. Our closets become filled, but our hearts feel empty. It can feel like owning a beautiful pair of shoes that everyone admires, yet somehow still does not feel right when we walk in them.</p><p>Trends offer a ready-made script, but true confidence comes from building your own aesthetic framework and learning to trust it. That is the keyword right there: trust. Often, we trust the taste and advice of other people more than our own because it feels safer. Selecting simple things that resonate with us takes self trust and bravery. One day, you may want to pull out that dress and those funky shoes that bring you so much joy and finally wear them. Then the thoughts begin to hover: What if my choice goes against what everyone else thinks is fashionable and stylish? What if they laugh? What if they judge me? The confidence falls, insecurity floods in, and suddenly it feels safer to dress exactly how the magazine, the algorithm, or that popular content creator prescribes. Eventually, our discernment fades. The safer choices prevail, and we forget that authentic style is not about looking like everyone else. It is about expressing who we are before the world teaches us to edit ourselves.</p><div><iframe class="instagram-media instagram-media-rendered" id="instagram-embed-4" src="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DKUoUY0x6OM/embed/?cr=1&v=14&wp=648&rd=https%3A%2F%2Fod2-workbench-web.abs-cbn.com&rp=%2F#%7B%22ci%22%3A4%2C%22os%22%3A1433104.599999994%7D" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="true" frameborder="0" height="882" data-instgrm-payload-id="instagram-media-payload-4" scrolling="no" style="background: white; max-width: 540px; width: calc(100% - 2px); border-radius: 3px; border: 1px solid rgb(219, 219, 219); box-shadow: none; display: block; margin: 0px 0px 12px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0px;"></iframe></div><script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script><div><strong>Audit Your Closet: Finding You on Your Clothes Rack&nbsp;</strong></div><p>Rediscovering your personal style can be a therapeutic endeavor. Personal style is cultivated internally, and allotting time to audit your closet can be confusing, emotional, and even heartbreaking. You may discover items that compromised who you are but pleased other people, clothes purchased only because everyone else had them, or pieces bought because they looked great on someone else but never felt quite right on you.&nbsp;</p><p>A closet audit can be painful because it can reveal the small ways we betrayed our true selves just to belong, impress, or feel safe. But it can also be liberating, because once you see those patterns clearly, you can begin to choose differently. &nbsp;</p><p>All is not lost. From this pile, check for recurring patterns, silhouettes, colors, textures, and themes, because these most likely reveal the styles that resonate with you, feel natural, and personify you the most. Pick three descriptor words that represent how you want your style to feel, such as &quot;fun,&quot; &quot;casual,&quot; and &quot;vibrant&quot;; &quot;subdued,&quot; &quot;minimalist,&quot; and &quot;polished&quot;; or &quot;eclectic,&quot; &quot;romantic,&quot; and &quot;relaxed&quot;.&nbsp;</p><p>These words can guide you as you select outfits that make you feel like you. They also become practical anchors when shopping. Before buying something new, ask whether it fits at least one of those words, whether it works with clothes you already own, and whether you are choosing it from genuine delight rather than pressure.&nbsp;</p><p>Review the clothes in your closet that feel performative, unnatural, or uncomfortable. These are most likely items that have no genuine connection to who you truly are now. Letting them go does not mean they were bad purchases or that you failed at style. It simply means they may be meant for someone else. Giving them to people you feel would love them most can give these items the appreciation they deserve. After all, that beautiful leather fringe jacket may look great and be much appreciated by a friend with a fun, eclectic, bohemian vibe. Releasing what no longer belongs can make room for what finally feels honest.&nbsp;</p><div><iframe class="instagram-media instagram-media-rendered" id="instagram-embed-2" src="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWmmXU9DzMF/embed/?cr=1&v=14&wp=648&rd=https%3A%2F%2Fod2-workbench-web.abs-cbn.com&rp=%2F#%7B%22ci%22%3A2%2C%22os%22%3A1379395.400000006%7D" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="true" frameborder="0" height="882" data-instgrm-payload-id="instagram-media-payload-2" scrolling="no" style="background: white; max-width: 540px; width: calc(100% - 2px); border-radius: 3px; border: 1px solid rgb(219, 219, 219); box-shadow: none; display: block; margin: 0px 0px 12px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0px;"></iframe></div><script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script><div><strong>Stick to Who You Are&nbsp;</strong></div><p>Finding who you are in the clothes you wear still needs inspiration, and our social media feeds will continue to push what is new, trending, and currently viral. They do this so often that it becomes easy to mistake repetition for personal preference. Occasionally, step out of your social media bubble and get inspiration from nature, movies, old photographs, your grandmother&rsquo;s closet, or family albums. Inspiration becomes richer when it comes from life, not only from what is being sold to us. Moving forward, selecting new items means making sure they fit the clothes you have painstakingly curated. Make sure a new piece can match and create at least two outfits with what you already own. This small rule keeps your closet practical, cohesive, and personal, while still giving you the freedom to experiment.</p><p>Trends are there to give us a glimpse of what is new, and the goal is not to reject them completely but to become more intentional in how we purchase and use trendy items. You can enjoy and appreciate an aesthetic without needing to adopt it as your identity. If a trendy item pops up, resonates with you, and fits into your existing anchors, go for it. But if it only makes you feel afraid of being left behind, let it pass. Not everything beautiful is meant to belong in your closet, and that realization can be freeing.&nbsp;</p><p>One day, you may open your closet and see more than clothes. You may see proof that you listened to yourself. The dress that once felt too brave will be waiting. The shoes that made you smile will no longer feel like a risk. The colors you love will not need permission. You will get dressed not to disappear into what is acceptable, but to return to what is true. And when you step out the door, the world may still be loud, demanding, and full of opinions, but you will have already chosen your own. That is the quiet power of personal style: not that everyone sees you, but that you finally do.</p><div><iframe class="instagram-media instagram-media-rendered" id="instagram-embed-0" src="https://www.instagram.com/p/DUNieuWjOLp/embed/?cr=1&v=14&wp=648&rd=https%3A%2F%2Fod2-workbench-web.abs-cbn.com&rp=%2F#%7B%22ci%22%3A0%2C%22os%22%3A1320815.300000012%7D" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="true" frameborder="0" height="927" data-instgrm-payload-id="instagram-media-payload-0" scrolling="no" style="background: white; max-width: 540px; width: calc(100% - 2px); border-radius: 3px; border: 1px solid rgb(219, 219, 219); box-shadow: none; display: block; margin: 0px 0px 12px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0px;"></iframe></div><script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script><div><a class="fr-green fr-strong" href="https://www.abs-cbn.com/lifestyle/health-beauty-fashion/2026/9/2/michelle-pozon-spiritual-stylist-intentional-approach-beauty-personal-style-0055" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">READ ALSO: Longing for a more intentional approach to beauty and personal style? Meet Spiritual Stylist Michelle Pozon</a></div><div><em>If today&rsquo;s conversation resonated with you and you&rsquo;d like to explore the topic further, you may connect with mental health coach Zarah Hernaez through her Instagram account via direct message.</em></div><div><strong><em>ABOUT THE AUTHOR</em></strong></div><div><br></div><div><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1788704522315ZARAH HERNAEZ_PROFILE PHOTO.jpg" class="fr-fic fr-dib" style="width: 455px;"><br></div><div><br></div><div><a href="https://www.instagram.com/zeeheehee/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>ZARAH R. HERNAEZ</em></a><em>&nbsp;is a mental health advocate and US Certified Mental Health First Aider from the National Council for Behavioral Health, Washington DC, USA and a certified Positive Psychology and Well-Being Coach from the Stanford School of Medicine. She is also the founder of <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thewellnestph/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The Wellnest PH</a>, a Mental Health Advocacy dedicated to creating a safe space and giving assistance to those going through mental health concerns in the Philippines. (Photo courtesy of Zarah Hernaez)</em></div><div><em>Photo credits: Thumbnail photo and first article photo are from Canva.</em></div>

<p>Learn how the three-word method can help define your personal style. This simple style exercise can guide what you wear, what you keep, and what you choose to buy next.</p>

Learn how the three-word method can help define your personal style. This simple style exercise can guide what you wear, what you keep, and what you choose to buy next.

How do you build a wardrobe that feels more like you?

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How do you build a wardrobe that feels more like you?

Zarah R. Hernaez

Published September 06, 2026 11:05 PM PHT

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Monday Check-In

Personal Style

Authentic Style

Intentional Fashion

Fashion And Identity

Style With Purpose

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