Marilyn Cahatol

Article (news)

<p>MANILA — In a generation that romanticizes fast-moving relationships or ‘’situationships’’ and “I can fix them’’ mantra, one truth remains – not everything that feels like love is good for you. </p><p>Before you find yourself mistaking pain for passion, it is important to understand the &quot;red flags&quot; that a relationship may be drifting into a dangerous route.</p><p>But what exactly is a red flag?</p><p>&quot;Red flags are indicators of a toxic relationship, and usually it’s not just a one-time thing. It could come as a pattern,&quot; psychologist and psychotherapist Dr. Gail Galang told ABS-CBN News.</p><p>It is a harmful behavior often overlooked that turns into a pattern and slowly damages relationships over time, making it important to recognize these indicators clearly before fully investing in someone.</p><div><br/></div><div><strong>GASLIGHTING</strong>    </div><p>“Nangyari ba ‘yon? Wala akong sinabing ganyan, gumagawa ka lang ng problema.’’ </p><p>Sounds familiar? You weren&#x27;t crazy. Galang defined gaslighting as a form of manipulation that causes someone to question their sanity, memories, or perception of reality. </p><p>&quot;Instead of acknowledging how you feel [and] probably apologizing or explaining, a gaslighter would be someone who&#x27;ll say ‘oh my goodness, you&#x27;re overreacting,’&quot; she explained.</p><p>According to Galang, this pattern gradually erodes a person’s confidence, making it harder for them to trust their instincts or speak up in future disagreements, which was why gaslighting remained one of the most damaging red flags.</p><div><br/></div><div><strong>POSSESSIVENESS</strong></div><p>“Sa ‘kin lang dapat atensyon mo, hindi sa mga kaibigan mo o ibang tao.”</p><p>Most people enjoy intense love, but it can sometimes be possessiveness disguised as concern – where a partner limits your freedom, unlike healthy relationships where autonomy and social connections are respected.</p><p>Galang warned that over time, this behavior could isolate a person from their support system, making them more dependent on the controlling partner.</p><p>“‘Why are you talking to your friends? Why are you going out with them? Why don&#x27;t you just go out with me?’ That&#x27;s another red flag,&quot; she noted. </p><div><a class="fr-green fr-strong" href="https://www.abs-cbn.com/news/business/2025/2/17/dating-avoid-these-red-flags-with-finances-when-choosing-your-partner-1642">Dating? Avoid these red flags with finances when choosing your partner</a></div><div><br/></div><div><strong>DISRESPECTING BOUNDARIES</strong></div><p>It is important to draw a line within the relationship that indicates where both of you stand in different situations. But what if your partner constantly crosses this line?</p><p>“‘Can you do this for me? I want it now.’ ‘Can you come here?’ Even if you&#x27;re not available, even if you&#x27;re busy and the other person knows that,” Galang said. </p><p>It is another indicator of an impending toxic relationship when your partner feels entitled to behave in a way that only satisfies their own needs, regardless of how it affects you. </p><p>“They often lack empathy and may not even recognize that their behavior is harmful... There doesn’t need to be a deeper root cause for this behavior, they simply feel entitled to disregard boundaries whenever they choose,” she explained.</p><div><a class="fr-green fr-strong" href="https://www.abs-cbn.com/entertainment/studios/tv/2025/1/17/these-are-relationship-red-flags-to-watch-out-for-according-to-donbelle-2350">These are relationship ‘red flags’ to watch out for, according to DonBelle</a></div><div><br/></div><div><strong>STONEWALLING</strong></div><p>Withdrawal from conflicts may seem healthy at first, as it gives time for both parties to calm down and think before uttering hurtful words. But sometimes, it makes you question whether the silent treatment is helping the relationship.</p><p>Galang defined stonewalling as a refusal to deal with an issue by choosing to avoid, ignore, or disappear, leaving the partner feeling more frustrated, confused, and angry. </p><p>“If there’s a problem, what does this person do? This person will just walk out on you or not talk at all or will probably tell you ‘just talk to me when you’re out of your mood swings,’” said Galang.</p><p>It shows lack of consideration for how the other person feels, which damages the relationship the moment it becomes a consistent occurrence. </p><p>“It’s okay to step back…Best if you can tell your partner beforehand if you need to take a break for a while but offer assurance that you’ll be back after you’ve cleared your thoughts,” she advised. </p><div><br/></div><div><strong>GUILT TRIPPING</strong></div><p>Controlling partners often weaponize love to make the other person do things against their will. While physical coercion is common, emotional manipulation, like guilt tripping, is just as harmful.</p><p>“‘After everything I’ve done for you, you owe me’ or ‘if you leave, I’ll fall apart… and it will be your fault for making me feel this way,’” Galang explaied.</p><p>They rely on guilt and shame as power tools of control in an attempt to break down the other person’s self-esteem and self-worth to make them feel dependent.</p><p>She described guilt tripping as manipulation designed to make someone feel responsible for their toxic partner’s emotions and well-being. </p><div><br/></div><div><strong>REACTING TO RED FLAGS</strong></div><p>Galang suggested what people should do once they start recognizing red flags.</p><p>“Be reflective. You have to step back, take a breath, observe and proceed with calm. You don&#x27;t have to endure a relationship just because you&#x27;re afraid that people will judge you…It will just prolong the harm,” she stated. </p><p>She also mentioned the importance of coming up with an exit plan with trusted friends and family once the red flags escalate to abuse; especially if it extends not only to the person in the relationship but also to their children or other loved ones. </p><p>“I know it&#x27;s scary to leave a relationship because you&#x27;re moving from something that&#x27;s familiar to something very unfamiliar. So, talk to your friends and also seek professional help if needed,” Galang added.</p><div><a class="fr-green fr-strong" href="https://www.abs-cbn.com/entertainment/showbiz/music/2025/5/19/exclusive-the-juans-gets-real-about-red-flags-in-relationships-and-their-own-experiences-0930">EXCLUSIVE: The Juans gets real about red flags in relationships and their own experiences</a></div><div><br/></div><div><strong>RELATED VIDEO:</strong></div><div style="text-align:center"><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jzAYagSUilE?si=71CRQVpQJeXPrmi0" title="YouTube video player" frameBorder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></div>

<p>In a generation that romanticizes fast-moving relationships or ‘’situationships’’ and “I can fix them’’ mantra, one truth remains – not everything that feels like love is good for you.</p>

In a generation that romanticizes fast-moving relationships or ‘’situationships’’ and “I can fix them’’ mantra, one truth remains – not everything that feels like love is good for you.

Expert explains relationship ‘red flags’ to look out for

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Expert explains relationship ‘red flags’ to look out for

Virla Limbo,

Alessandra Reodique,

ABS-CBN News Digital Intern

Published December 06, 2025 08:21 AM PHT

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