Private Talks: Things to consider before using a vibrator

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Private Talks: Things to consider before using a vibrator

Kevin Alabaso,

ABS-CBN News

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MANILA — Sex toys, including vibrators, are still a taboo topic in the Philippines, where society remains somewhat conservative.

This might lead to miseducation where couples may might make decisions based on videos they see online.

Among the issues that may come up for couples, and even for single women, is whether using a vibrator can have negative effects.

Health and wellness expert Dr. Lulu Marquez said vibrators are not necessarily bad to use as these can be used as a "marital aid" to help women climax.

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"Ang vibrator, this could be a marital aid. Tutulong po 'yan para sa mga mag-asawa kung gusto niyong umabot sa rurok si misis. Hindi siya basta gadget lang," Marquez said in DZMM TeleRadyo's "Private Talks".

(It can help women climax. It is not just a gadget)

When asked on the possible negative effects of the sex toy, Marquez said there are no medical evidences that showed women losing sensitivity in their clitoris due to using vibrators.

"It does not cause permanent damage sa nerve. It will not cause irreversible loss of sensitivity sa mga madalas gumamit. Pero may mga tao na gumagamit niyan na it can cause temporary sensitivity loss. Kasi madalas gamitin, pwedeng mag-numb 'yung clitoral area," she said.

(It does not cause permanent damage or irreversible loss of sensitivity. But it can cause temporary sensitivity loss. The clitoral area could go numb) 

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She, however, warned that in rare cases, feelings of pain or sudden loss of sensation on the area may be effects of excessive use and that a visit with the OB-GYN may be needed.

"Vibrators are safe for most women but it can temporarily change how your body responds to stimulation. But they do not permanently break your ability to orgasm," Marquez said.

The wellness expert also clarified that couples do not necessarily need to use vibrators to help women climax.

However, if couples struggle with making their female partner climax, they can follow these few steps before using the said marital aid:


1. Couples need to listen to their body

Marquez said couples should openly talk about the idea of using the vibrator especially if the woman thinks it would help her orgasm, and if the man thinks it would help his partner.

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"Listen to your body kung kailangan mo talaga. Kasi may mga babae na [sinasabing] 'ay we don't need that kasi my husband is very good.' Pero habang nagkaka-edad, nagkakaproblema, lowbat na. So you have to prepare for that," Marquez said.

(Listen to your body to see if you really need it. Some women say they don't because their husband is very good. But as we age, there could be problems when libido changes. So you have to prepare for that)


2. Give yourself a break

While frequent usage of the vibrator is not frowned upon, women should know when to pause using the sex toy.

"If you feel sore or numb, give yourself a break. Baka nasobrahan na e. (It may be too much) Take days off if you noticed that it's harder to orgasm without your toy kasi naadik na e," she said.


3. Hormones

Another thing that women should take note of would be their hormones as their body's reaction to the sex toy may change depending on their hormones.

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"Ang hormones taas-baba 'yan. Lalo na kung fatigued ka, ang hirap gumamit ng vibrator kung pagod ka. Wala sa mood," Marquez said.

(Our hormone levels can change, for example, when you are tired. It is hard to use a vibrator if you are tired. You might not be in the mood)


4. Slowly, but surely

The expert also advised that when using vibrators, women should not necessarily use the maximum vibration setting to easily have an orgasm.

"Low vibration muna para hindi mabigla. Pwede rin mag-explore ang couples ng iba't ibang klaseng vibrator. Mayroong pulse, flutter, tap, at iba't iba pang style [ng sex toy]," she said.

(You can start at low vibration so you aren't shocked. Couples can also explore different kinds and styles)

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5. Try other areas

Marquez said another effective use of the vibrator would be to use it in different and not just use it for a long time on one single area.

"Switch up your routine. Don't always place the vibrator in exactly the same spot. Pwede namang sa ibang lugar na muna e... Gilid-gilid muna wag muna agad sa gitna (You can use it on other areas, like on the sides)," she said.


6. Marital aid's partner

Marquez said that regardless of age, using sex toys such as vibrators should be paired with lubricants to avoid any pain from using it dry.


7. Don't be icky

"Prioritize cleanliness and clean your vibrator to avoid any bacteria buildup," she said.


8. Psychological conditioning

Marquez also warned that excessive vibrator usage may condition your mind to only feel pleasure to the power and feeling given by the sex toy.

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"If you're only using one powerful toy, 'yung utak mo and katawan mo can get used to that specific sensation. So nasanay ka na e at baka maging problema 'yan," she said.

(Your mind and body might get used to that sensation. So, if you get used to just that, that might cause problems)

She said vibrators can be used with manual stimulation other than lighter toys "so your body does not rely on only one type of feeling."

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